Monday, November 26, 2007

Get Back To Work, You Bums

That's part of the first sentence of an e-mail that I so badly want to send to the idiots, er I mean writers who are on strike. Now they are "writing" these silly, self-serving, eye-roll-inducing web ditties about how important they are. They even give their e-mail address, just in case you want to write a letter to them. You know, so you can tell them how awesome they are. PUH-LEASE.

Here it is: speechlesswithoutwriters@gmail.com

And here is my letter:

Dear "Writers" Guild:

Either shut the hell up or get back to work, you bums. That is, if you can even justify what you do as being "work." You guys write the most trite, contrived, stupid garbage that has ever had the misfortune to be committed to scripts and/or screenplays. Believe me, I really can survive in a world without the likes of Saw 4, Two and a Half Men, and I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. Really. If you spent a quarter as much time writing half-way decent stuff for television and film as you did to write your own whiny, self-aggrandizing bullshit that's on YouTube, then maybe I'd actually want to watch TV or go to a movie.

Get over yourselves. You suck.

Sincerely,
Me

You know, when I think about it, almost every fairly decent movie I've seen over the last 10 years or so has been based on someone ELSE'S writing. For example: The Lord of the Rings trilogy. And honestly, the only current TV show I watch is Lost. Everything else I watch on TV is on BBC America! Maybe these writers can tune in there and take some lessons....


4 comments:

Krista said...

What's really funny is the shows they "borrowed" from BBC are shows that do well. Couplings became Friends, and The Office became, well, The Office.

I have a degree in English...I wonder if they'd hire me as a replacement?!

Gina said...

If they did hire you, I'm sure it would be an improvement!

And also, the shows that they "adapted" from BBC programs: Have you noticed that they seem to have taken the best bits OUT and replaced them with stupid crap? It's like the very essence of what makes a certain show great is changed or removed "for American audiences." Screw that.

I remember when they made an American version of Fawlty Towers, a few years ago. It was ABYSMAL.

Katie J said...

You have to start watching Heroes Gina. However I think Cavemen should be added to your list of writer offenses.

Just tell 'em "qtdfco" and get back to work!

the nicole kline experience said...

"dear 'writers' guild"

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!