Absolutely Hilarious

I'm not a fan of Jimmy Kimmel, but GOD, this is side-splitting hilarious:

Horribly, Horribly Wrong

WARNING: RANT ALERT! WARNING: RANT ALERT!

You know, sometimes... you gotta say, "What the fuck?"

And in the case of Highlander II, you gotta say, "What the fucking fuck?"

Seriously, I REMAINED.

It's just...uh...wow...yeah...really...freakin' bad....

My mouth hung agape for the first 15 minutes, just out of utter disbelief and confusion. Then I turned to Todd and could only muster, "WHAT?!?!?!?"

We managed to get through about 45 minutes of it (a torture only slightly ameliorated by a group of people who gave it a bootleg MST3K treatment).

I don't even know if I can stand to watch the rest. Seriously, I really don't. It was that bad. In fact...

I'm going to go as far as to say...

that Highlander II has now surpassed Rob Roy as the worst movie I've ever at least partly seen.

If you've seen Highlander or even if you haven't seen it, but know about the premise of Highlander, or even if you're not sure and think you may have overheard part of a conversation that your cousin's boyfriend had about Highlander at some point over a Christmas holiday one year, then I implore you: DO NOT SEE HIGHLANDER II. I don't even want to italicize it; it somehow confirms that it's a real film. But the grammar freak in me compels me to do so.

Speaking of bad movies, I'd like to take this opportunity to list a few of the less-than-stellar celluloid gems I've seen recently. In no particular order:

The Simpsons Movie: So incredibly unfunny. I don't think I laughed once. I cracked a smile at ONE joke. ONE. C-

Transformers: Supremely dumb. You'd think a movie about gigantic space robots beating the crap out of each other would be awesome. Nope. I'll be honest, I was not a rabid Transformers fan as a kid. I watched the toon a few times. But even my soul died a little when Optimus Prime uttered, "Sorry, my bad" in the movie. C-

Spiderman 3: How did this happen? HOW?! This is a painfully, squirm-in-your-seat embarrassing 3rd installment to what was looking to be a fantastic franchise. The villains were stupid. "Dark" Spidey was really asinine. Just all around pathetic. D+

Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World's End: What is this crap and are you people finally done shoving it down our throats? Admittedly, it was better than Pirates 2: The Black Pearl. However, it was still convoluted and over-the-top. And not in a good way. C


Die Hard 4: Not great, but not horrible either. Didn't feel like a Die Hard movie. There was something lacking---a grittiness or chaotic feel. I'm just not into cyber crimes and how people execute and solve them. Die Hard needs to be about blowing shit up or the prevention of said blowing shit up, not deleting my social security files. Sheesh. At least we got to see our friend Josh in it for like 2 seconds. C

I would also like to make one request of Hollywood: Please, for the love of CHRIST, stop making movies out of video games. PLEASE. I AM BEGGING YOU. I was on-board for the first Lara Croft: Tomb Raider movie. I kind of liked it. Yeah, I know. Shut up. But since then, the plethora of video game movies has been unending and unendingly BAD.

I need to go fall out for a few minutes....

Week of Love, Images

Happy Valentine's Day









To commemorate Valentine's Day and continuing in my Week of Love blog celebration, I'd like to present to you some of my photos that have special meaning for me and that I really love.


Here's little Aubrey looking like a tiny, delightful, garden sprite. I took this picture of her back in December during the week I took care of her.



Here's a funny profile picture. No, it's not Alfred Hitchcock. Gotta love those cheeks.




Here's my friend Katie (Katie, please don't kill me), who does an uncannily accurate impression of a Hummel figurine, evidenced by this photo. She also happens to smell fantastic, is an expert knitter, and can sing like the loveliest songbird you'd ever want to hear. Anyway, I couldn't get through life without people like Katie and the rest of my knitting buddies. I love you guys.


Devotion to Felines

Ah, cats. I have many cats in my life at the moment. I think it might not be an exaggeration to say that I know more cats than people. Why, I have 6. My parents have 2. My sister has 3---that's Neko right there to the left, one of hers. Most of my friends have a cat or 2 or 11. What is it about cats? Every cat I've ever known has has its own distinct personality. The brood of 6 currently residing in my home proves this point to a T. I love them all: my silly, soft, beguiling, fuzzy children.









Here is Titus I, posing for heads of the royal coin of Catopia. An impressive animal he is.

Here's my favorite picture of Sophie, taken when she was still an only child!

And here's a bunch o' cats on the bed. Let's see, here we have (clockwise from the top) Hercules, Sophie (who always sits either right against my pillow or ON IT), Luna, and Fi Fi.






And here's my sweet gentleman, Mr. Chesterfield. One of the smartest, loveliest animals you'll ever meet. EVER.



Oh my goofy, wild Hercules.







One of my parents' cats, Honey. She's as sweet as her name implies.








Here's my little Ophelia, who isn't so little anymore. But when we found her, she was a tiny little baby, weighing less than a pound. Fi Fi always has a very "concerned" look, a look she's donned she was 1-month-old. See?




Ye Olde Tyme Cats

Everyone asks me how I got this photo to look this way. I assure you, it was by accident. It's from my cell phone, of all things. I came home from the grocery store one day and was greeted by this trio in the window. That's Fi Fi on the left (see how very concerned she is?), Herc in the middle and Titus on the right (football head).

Little Luna. My sweet, silver doll.

Japan

I don't recall talking too much about my trip to Japan on this blog, if at all. Suffice it to say, we had a great time there and will be going back at some point.
Here are some of my favorite photos.




Me in a gift shop that sold only cat-themed items. You'd think I would have had enough of them in my every-day life!








A LATE dinner at a restaurant in Ginza with friends. Left to right: Hanae, Scott, Mutsumi, me, Todd.

Here's Todd and I outside a Kabuki theater. It was closed for renovations, so we didn't get to go to a show. Next time!

This is the Hie-Jinja shrine. This shrine was very close to the hotel where we stayed. All the shrines in Tokyo are quiet, peaceful places. Even when we were at a particularly crowded one (this one was not crowded at all), there was this gentle, serene beauty about the place. I liken it to the feeling of being in your grandmother's house: warm, welcoming, with a lot of things to see and do, clean, unconditionally accepting of you and so glad you came to visit.



Mutsumi and I in kimonos, which her grandmother made. Believe it or not, we were standing in the hotel's gardens. Yeah. It was a lovely hotel, the New Otani. The gardens are centuries old, actually. They actually built the hotel around the gardens to preserve them. Something to think about. Here's something else to think about: Mutsumi's grandmom took to making kimonos for a living because she was widowed in WWII. It's so eye-opening to realize that losses in WWII happened everywhere. No matter the "side," people died, families suffered. The pointlessness of war just really slaps you in the face.





Dinner with our friend Yuko and her parents. One of the great highlights of our trip. That's Todd and I in the front, of course. So Yuko's mom made her own plum wine. Yeah, just take one look at me and you'll know how awesome it was. :-)







More Photographic Love

I had a professional photographer at my wedding and she took some wonderful pictures---and a lot of them. However, my most favorite photo of my wedding is this one that Mutsumi took. Can you believe it? She came all the way from Japan to be at our wedding!







This last picture is just a special memory for me of the fun times I had with Kathleen. We were at Todd's friend Dan's home for a Fourth of July barbecue. Great memories.






I hope you enjoyed seeing some special photos that I love. I'm sure this collection will keep growing and growing thanks to all my friends, family and CATS. :-)

Week of Love, Continued

To continue with my Week of Love celebration and in honor of my late, best friend, Kathleen, I present to you this most-excellent, hilarious video from YouTube. This has been around for about a year and in several variations. But it is one of the greatest things I've ever seen. I put it up here for Kathleen because...well...she would have LOVED it.

My friends, I give you: Lady Punch





And this Franz Ferdinand accompanied remix of Lady Punch. It's Lady Punch set to music! How grand.



Ah, I can hear her laughing, even now. Love you, Kath.

Week of Love

Valentine's Day is swiftly approaching so I've decided to dedicate this week of my blog to that holiday. To kick it off, I just thought it an appropriate time to list things that I love and things that I hate. Just randomly:





She loves me...

Todd
the 6 beast---er, I mean cats
all my family
sushi
MST3K
chocolate
etsy
knitting
art
gnocchi
jewelry
Spongebob Squarepants
World of Warcraft
Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (who knew?)
Married to the Sea
coffee and tea
games
South Park
chinchillas
honey
cheese
retro 80s music
pancakes
otters
Go Fug Yourself
black beans
the smell of a barbecue
amiguri
raspberries
video games
Spring & Fall
Ninja Warrior
Addi Turbo needles
Corgis



She loves me not...

my job
Indian food, particularly curry
thunder and lightening
insincerity
smell of patchouli
spearmint or cinnamon gum
Popeye cartoons
horror movies
Nascar
the doctor
Twizzlers
Hummers as big as my house
my neighbor's grandson
Futurama
the color teal
flan
laundry
leaky windows in my house
WWE wrestling
meat on pizza
any talk radio (like NPR)
Jello
Family Guy
enchilladas
gasoline prices
cantaloupe
scrapple
Summer & Winter
rap music
double-pointed needles
MTV

Weekly Topic #4 for Defeat the Winter Doldrums Dishcloth Swap

Weekly Topic #4

" Defeat the Winter Doldrums" for some of us we get the doldrums and others don't. For the ones who get doldrums what helps you get rid of them? For the ones who don't get the doldrums, what helps you keep them away?

I think I really do find myself in the doldrums right in the middle of winter. Usually right around now it hits me. Sometimes what makes it feel worse is that, for me, there are no "off-from-work" holidays on the horizon until Memorial Day! ACK!

Luckily for me there a couple of events that I look forward to that help ameliorate the situation. First of, for the last 4-5 years Todd and I have been getting together with his friends, Josh and Jen, for a Valentine's Day Weekend Love Fest. We alternate travel every other year. This year, it's our turn to ravel to them. They don't live terribly far away, though. Just Manassas, Virgina, which is about 2-2.5 hours away. Most of the time, Valentine's Day falls mid-week. So we shoot for whichever weekend is closest. We leave this Friday for the weekend!

Second is my sister Helene's birthday. March 1. Which I guess isn't a major holiday or event. But over the last several years, it seems like a regular tradition that I go down to North Carolina to visit her around her birthday. Luckily, this year her birthday falls on a weekend, so that will really be nice. And I'll get to see my niece and nephew again too. Good times all around!

The Worst of Etsy

You all know how much I lurve etsy. About 95% of time time, the items I see on etsy are fantastic. Even if it's something I don't particularly like, I still see the value is its handmade nature, its quality, its function. As someone who creates things by hand, I get it. I really do.

However....

There are certain offerings that I've seen on etsy for which I am just, well, sort of, "you gotta be kidding me?!?"

This is one such item. Yeah. I have friends who are photographers: most amateur, but for one it's his livelihood. This, I think, is insulting to photographers everywhere. Also? Get a gander at the shipping charges. Excuse me? Now, I happened to peruse this seller's other items. They are mostly amusing, quirky, and innovative. Not stuff I'd buy. But again, I see the value and craftsmanship in them. Like this one is just plain neat.


Here's another. This isn't as bad, though, as that photographic rip-off I just mentioned. But it still falls well into the parameters of useless, too-expensive-for-what-it-is, and just sort of phoney. I don't know why, but this thing really pissed me off. As someone who knits and knows plenty of people who knit and knit INSANELY WELL at that, I , again, found this little thing kind of insulting, especially because of the price. It's $12. Yes, TWELVE dollars. It uses, what, about 25 yards of cotton yarn? Maybe? And has a $.25 plastic button on it. And I can't imagine it taking a long time to knit. So even if this seller were not using the cones of cotton yarn (which are cheaper in the long-run), this knitted item would only cost them about $.75 to make. Period. Why is it $12? It should no more than about $4. ARGH


Another travesty. Ok so my first reaction to this was, "AGGHHH! TEAL! And it's FUR and TEAL. MY EYES!" Then once I got beyond that I thought, "Wait? Isn't etsy the place for things handmade? This isn't some hand-spun or hand-dyed yarn. It's BERNAT." What the crap is a cheesy skein of Bernat fun-fur yarn doing on etsy? Then upon even further pondering, I thought, "FOUR DOLLARS?? Why is it $4?" Look chick, take your random, shitty, leftover skeins of Bernat novelty yarn to ebay. K? THX!


Just...WHY??? Don't you think that someone with this kind of obvious ability (casting metals and making jewelry) should direct their talents elsewhere? Lame. But hey, at least it IS handmade....


But, thankfully, esty always redeems itself with abundant wonderfulness:

AWESOME. Cheap and awesome and useful and cool. I'd pay twice that amount for something so well-made and useful.

ME WANTY. So cute and nicely-done.


I'll take about 50, please.


YUMMY. And it's $3. THREE DOLLARS? HOW is that even possible?


Fantastic. I've ordered hilarious magnets from this person. And the little funny books he wrote about birds.


So, whew, I feel a little better.

Awesome

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