Monday, November 10, 2008

Hideous Knitting 101

All right, here's the next installment of Hideous Knitting:

At first glance, this looks really pretty. I'm a sucker for a nice feather n' fan pattern and I liked the tied, blousy look. In fact, I almost downloaded this pattern (it's free, a big turn-on for me). But then it hit me: wait, those aren't sleeves. OMG. It's a...cape...with a belt...and the belt goes through the knitting to make totally non-functional, pseudo sleeves. WTF. A cape with a belt. Yes. I know, honey.


WHO DOES THIS? Look at how that evil belt pulls most horrifically on the knitting. I am cringing looking at it. I can feel my blood boiling.






&*(#$@^$*&%^*#(@)%^%$#& FUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

Sorry. I just can't stand it.

Ok report card time.

Hideous Knitting 101 report card:
Fit: C- As a cape, it's too long, and as a sweater, the "sleeves" are too short. The model wears it well enough. Although, let's see her lift those arms up, huh?
Color(s): C Meh. Boring.
Yarn: C Naturally Caron Spa. 25% bamboo; 75% acrylic. DK weight. I wish the bamboo content were a little higher and that there were more color options; looks like only pastels. However, this yarn comes in 250-yard skeins, so that's a big plus.
Execution: D The feather and fan looks fine, but again, the way the &*$%^@%# belt yanks on the knitting is awful, evil, and cringe-worthy.
Had this been a real sweater, with REAL SLEEVES, it would be absolutely stunning. I feel like this is a cop out to making sleeves. I mean, nothing against capes, (although I don't particularly like them), but if you're making a cape, then you're making a cape. Don't try to make it into some weird-ass, el-fake-o sweater. I am actually, seriously considering revising this pattern so that it has real sleeves. A challenge, def. But I might do it.

1 comment:

Beth said...

Loverly! Your new segment is hilarious keep it coming!

(Today's word verification: "peivis")