Hideous Knitting 101

Introducing a new segment that I will revisit from time to time that I'm calling "Hideous Knitting 101." All examples will be followed by a report card, where each item is graded on the following:

Style: the overall look of the knitted item.
Fit: how well it fits the intended application, not limited to the fit of garments.
Color(s): choice of color(s) or colorway
Yarn: Quality, fiber, and availability of the yarn used for knitted item
Execution: How well the knitted item uses the yarn and represents the skill of knitting.

And here's your first installment:



This trip to seizure town caught my eye the other day on Ravelry. If you click on the picture it will take you to Coats & Clark's free pattern! How delightful. I feel kinda sorry for that Gweneth Paltrow-esque model who had to wear this thing AND be photographed. It's one of the most unflattering knitted garments I've ever laid eyes on and in more ways than one.

Hideous Knitting 101 report card:
Style: D-
Fit: D
Color(s): D
Yarn: C- Moda Dea Sassy Stripes 100% Acrylic; sport weight. (which on the web site says: "100% acrylique," as if Frenchifying it will make it any better).
Execution: C- If you look at the knit samples for this yarn's colorways, they look NOTHING like the nightmare pictured above. I think this is supposed to knit up into a self-striping, fair-isle type of pattern.

Now if we used different yarn, would this be any better? I think only marginally. I'm trying to picture it in a different colorway or in a solid color. But the bad styling and fit is just so overwhelming that I think there's no hope.

Stay tuned for more.