Tuesday, September 29, 2015

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

Elegant Scoop Neck Sweater

Elegant.  Right?  It does say elegant?

Because when I think "elegant," my mind immediately goes to droopy, deflated breasts encased in fine-gauge alpaca while standing against a tree in the OBVIOUS cold. Come on. 

Just because you have small breasts does not exempt you from wearing some undergarment if you plan on being photographed -- outside -- while specifically modelling a knitted close-fitting sweater.

http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/elegant-scoop-neck-sweater
The saddest set of all.

Also? You are about to be rounded up by the posture posse. But that's another story entirely. Also, also? That's not really a scoop neck. Almost. Not quite.  Good thing, too.  I mean, had this been an actual scoop neck, I have the feeling I'd be seeing a rather uncomfortable amount of knobby sternum....

I don't hate this sweater. I actually LIKE it. I'd consider knitting it. But it's almost $8 for the pattern and I'm a cheap jerk.  Plus, it's a fairly conventional design that I could probably figure out on my own anyway.

Anyway. Trust me, I hate wearing a bra.  HATE IT. And the fact that I'm a DD cup exacerbates the discomfort with or without a bra.  But I do it every day because it would be greatly disturbing to a great many living things if I did not. And being bra-less isn't exactly all that comfortable or practical either in my workplace setting. Do I even need to discuss appropriateness? Heck, I'm bra-less right now in a tank top.  But it's 9:10 pm and I'm sitting, alone, in front of my laptop at home.  How's that for a visual?

Yes, you are correct.



1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This is hilarious! You gave me a great chuckle with your thoughts about wearing a bra. I hate them too and wouldn't wear them except for the fact that in the cold, you could hang a couple of coats on my you-know-whats.

Come back and post more often!