The Tragedy Of the Bully Woolies

Now that you've met my animals, as cute and fuzzy as they are, it's time to present you with their dark side. It's story time, boys and girls! And now the epic drama known as The Tragedy of the Bully Woolies.

My birthday was in May. And this year my friends Jan (who taught me how to crochet) and Marsha (who taught me how to knit) gave me, among other things, this cute kit that makes knitted mice cat toys filled with catnip. The kit is called Bully Woolies. And I highly recommend it---very easy to do. And a good introduction to felting. In fact, this is my first felting project! I have not felted the mice yet, but when I do I'll take pictures and post them on here. Actually, I had fully intended on having them DONE by now, but the animals had other ideas....

So anyhow, I opened the kit up right away and was like a kid in a candy shop! I found myself lost in oohing and aahing over the little plastic box's contents. Suddenly I was snapped back into reality by an odd scraping sound. It was Titus' tongue licking something. He had smelled the bag of catnip in the kit and actually licked a HOLE through the cardboard insert that had the knitting directions on it! RAGE. Seething, I just gathered everything up and put it away for a while. Luckily, upon closer inspection of those instructions, I determined that he did not utterly destroy them. I could still figure out what to do.

A few days later, I opened up the kit again. I attempted to knit one of the mice---a deep plum-colored one.

Instructions: "Cast on 3 stitches"
Me: "la, la, la, casting on 3 stitches, ta teetle-tee tum"
Instructions: "Purl rows 1, 3, 5, 7, 9"
Me: "...hmmm...uh...ok...so...I put the needle...here? No. Wait. Uh...in the front...and the yarn goes...here? No, that's not right! Argh. Let's see now...over the...top? No, no, no. ---The hell?

To my absolute horror, I FORGOT HOW TO PURL. I was incredulous. And none of the 1758960 knitting books I own seemed to be able to explain the purl stitch to me in a manner that my brain could comprehend. Maybe it was because I was super distracted by three of my four cats swarming all over me, either for the yarn, the catnip (indeed, Ophelia actually got her little jaws on the packet of catnip and attempted to abscond with it), the needles or some combination of all three. SIGH. I put the kit away again.

Fast forward to August. I unearthed the little plastic cube again and tried knitting them again. Now I'm not sure what happened in my brain between May and August, but I was able to purl, no problem. Crazy, right? I knit up one mouse. Easy as pie. And SO CUTE. I was so happy. I starting knitting the second, then got distracted by someone or some animal. So I put it away again. Thankfully, we were just about to go on vacation to Vermont, sans cats. Which meant that I could have a week of uninterrupted knitting and crocheting. I finished all but one of the cat toys because I had put that particular little ball of yarn in a different spot (the deep-plum one). I even managed to use the scraps of remaining yarn from the others to make a striped one! They are really adorable. Here they are, pre-felted:

So I get home from vacation and find the other ball of yarn. Two days later, I had to bring my car in for an oil change, so I brought the yarn with me to knit the last mouse in the waiting room of the car dealership. I could have knit about 56 afghans; that's how long I was there, but I digress. I left the plastic box home, which now contained: the 5 completed mice, the finishing yarn, bells, and the catnip. I thought I had zipped my knitting bag up, but I guess I didn't zip it all the way. When I got home I found...well...a picture is worth a thousand words, so have a gander at these:

Titus (asleep) with catnip all over his back.


Herc sniffing and rolling in catnip (Fi Fi, too).


All three caught in the act.


Ophelia looking stoned (and guilty)!


Ophelia reveling in catnip.


THE EVIDENCE: not one leaf of catnip left!


That's right, dear reader. They were covered in catnip, particularly Titus and Ophelia. I'd bet that Fi Fi got it out of my knitting bag. Clever girl. And that Titus did the honors of chewing up the catnip bag. I found 2 of the mice scattered around. But everything else remained in the knitting bag and in the box. I actually made the lame attempt of getting the dustbuster to vacuum up the remaining catnip, but there was NOTHING to vacuum up! All the catnip was either on them or in them at this point. Notice how Sophie is not in any of these pictures? Yeah. She's the "good" one.

So tonight I am going to felt these poor mice and get it done with! I think I have some more catnip stashed away in a hermetically sealed container somewhere. But these animals are so bad, they don't even deserve the fruits of my labor. Oy.