Thursday, November 30, 2006

The Stupidest Toys I've Ever Seen

Are these:

I mean...COME ON...Star Wars Transformers?

First of all, the packaging looks like something George Lucas created while having a seizure and dropping acid, simultaneously. My rods and cones are begging for mercy.

Second, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth of all: THEY ARE FUGLY. Not to mention that combining two franchises like this --- ones with entirely disparate worlds, origins, and story mythos --- is absolutely retarded and downright insulting to us folks who grew up loving these stories, independently. George Lucas is a freakin' bajillionaire. I can't believe he'd stoop down to this to make more money. Well, actually, I DO believe it, but it's still disturbing.

Maybe it's his goiter egging him on or something: "Psst...PSSSST! Hey, George! It's me...your goiter. Listen, I have a R0XX0R idea: how about we combine your classic Star Wars characters with the Transformers and and release it in the market as some kind of eye-assaulting, fever-inducing toy? Kids will LOVE it! And we can totally capitalize on the money that the new Transformers resurgence will undoubtedly bring now that their lame-ass movie is coming out. What's that? NO? Oh, come on! I gave you that Jar Jar idea and look how well that turned out! Ok, I have to hurt you now; assume the torture position...."

If I were a kid and found these under the tree, I'd so totally make my parents go into the cornfield....


Katie J said...

Gina, you're so right and so funny. I am cracking up over here.

Marsha said...

Um, Gina...I have some bad news for you. Jan and I just ordered a complete set of these for you and Todd for Christmas.

Please don't hurt us...


Gina said...


It's the cornfield for you!