Thursday, October 04, 2007

The Least of All Evils

Ok. Well, I decided to change the layout/skin/template/whatever-you-call-it on the blog, as you can see. I will re-iterate: BLOGGER, GET NEW TEMPLATES. This one was about the least offensive of the others, unless I wanted it basically to look like a Word document with a box around the header. No thanks.

Also---just because I have to write it down somewhere---I am drinking the WORST cup of coffee of my life, such as it is, today. It tastes like volcanic dirt. I only wish I were actually IN Hawaii, somewhere near a volcano, which might lessen the pain of drinking this crap. Some random person (who is new and from another department is using our office space until their office is finished being renovated---how nice) used our coffee maker and "surprised" us by brewing up a pot of this delightful, high-octane sludge this morning before anyone else got in. Super! Thanks! Why don't I just walk my fat, lazy ass down to the little coffee shop on the ground floor of the building attached to my building? Well, I'll tell you:

a) Their coffee sucks ass. It's new name will be "ass-coffee."

b) I went in there last week to get a quick, healthy food item to eat for breakfast (yeah, good luck finding this within 24 miles of a college campus, but anyway) because I re-joined Weight Watchers last Monday. I will post more about this later. Suffice it to say, for now, that it's going well. Anyhoo. So the only thing I could find in there remotely healthy was yogurt. Fine. Whatever. Good ol' Dannon light 6 oz. cup of blueberry yogurt.

So I get over to the counter and order a medium ass-coffee, as is my custom nearly every morning, and I put the yogurt on the counter too. She rings me up. The total is $5.07. Now, I know a medium coffee is $1.75. And I also know that they charge tax if you pay cash (crazy, I know). So, math GENIUS that I am, I figure it out and and say, incredulous, "Wait. Was that yogurt like $3.00?" She goes, somewhat sympathetically and sheepishly, "Yeah, it's $2.99." I was struck into complete idiot mode at that point and could only utter, "Wow...o...k." Then there is the little matter of the sales tax. So, after all was said and done, that yogurt cost me $3.20. Yeah. I remained. The guy behind me in line says, "Holy shit! Did you just pay $3.00 for that yogurt?!? You can get like 8 of them for that at Acme (which is a local chain supermarket)." Again, still stunned into utter stupidity, I could only nod in agreement. I picked up my yogurt and my coffee cup and filled up and left.

Hind-sight is always 20/20, as my dad says---I'd like to interrupt at this point to mention that I just spilled some of the volcanic dirt coffee down my chin and on my jacket. I think it is my subconscious brain trying to get rid of the stuff before I can commit all of it to my innards.

Thank you. To continue: I looked at my receipt later that day and it said:

medium coffee 1.75
Dannon parfait 2.99

Parfait? What parfait? Who had a parfait? Not I! I had a cup of freakin' yogurt, not a yogurt, whipped cream, granola, and fruit concoction. Then, it dawned on me. The cashier saw the word "Dannon" on the product I bought and spied the word "Dannon" on her register's keypad and thought, "DING! DANNON! This is it!" But really, there probably is a another button on the keypad that has "yogurt" written on it and she just didn't realize it.

My suspicions were confirmed earlier this week when I went in there and saw that they had actually placed labels with prices for the shelved refrigerator items. "Dannon yogurt: $1.69." Which is also criminally overpriced for a cup of yogurt, but still, it 'aint $3.00.

So that is why I am steering clear of the coffee shop if I can. And why I just choked down 12 oz. of volcanic dirt. Oy.

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