Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Dear USPS:

A couple of things:

1) Stop making stamps as big as my ASS. To wit:


That Darth stamp is easily 4 times the size of your regular generic 41-cent stamp. I mean... seriously.

2). Also in reference to the above photo, stop charging double postage for square envelopes. That's unfair. And if you think we actually believe that "they don't fit in our mail sorters," then you guys are retarded. Head for the escape pod; your jig is up!

I would now like to present to you, my friends, the 5 lamest stamps that are in current circulation:

#5

I really have nothing against President Ford. Really. Granted, I probably remember little about him on a political level, as he was sworn in when I was 2. But was his time as President really groundbreaking in any way? Did he institute major social reforms or life-changing policies? Was his presidency even fraught with scandals or BAD policies? NO NO NO.

Face it, this man was President by accident. If he 'aint on money, then he probably shouldn't be on a stamp either.






#4




Congratulations to Jessica McMillan, from Mrs. Letitia Johnson's 7th grade art class at William McKinley middle school in Cleveland, Ohio for the winning submission in the USPS "Design a completely useless stamp" contest. Her prize was a lifetime supply of these pointless 10-cent stamps that she designed.












#3


This stamp from 2007 was created to celebrate the centennial of the statehood of Oklahoma.

Yeah.

Um.

Who gives a rat's ass?

Lame.

Whatever.




#2

So now we're really reaching here for material, eh? Four poorly-framed vacation photos of someone's uncle's boat. God I am like slipping into a coma from the boredom of just looking at these!
LAME.



And now the lamest USPS stamp in current circulation...


#1



Oh, COME ON. Seriously, WTF?

5 comments:

the nicole kline experience said...

"If he 'aint on money, then he probably shouldn't be on a stamp either."

LMFAO! i can't get over the BOAT STROKE stamp. or the jury duty! what the hell? i had no idea there were so many...

Marsha said...

Oh man, I totally agree about the extra postage for square envelopes. What's up with THAT?

Jury duty stamps? JURY DUTY STAMPS? Yeah, those are EXACTLY what we need to convince people that jury duty is a good thing.

"Yeah, I was gonna throw that jury duty summons in the trash. But then I saw an envelope with one of those cool jury duty stamps on it, and that TOTALLY changed my mind!"

Corinne said...

LMAO!!!! Seriously, you are exactly what I need at this time of the day!!

Katie J said...

I used to collect stamps and these seem boring to even me.

Beth said...

You crack me up! And how do you feel about the forever stamp?