Wednesday Check-In

So I just wanted to report that my WW weigh-in yesterday showed a .4 gain. Grrr. Not disastrous, but still annoying. It's obvious that I cannot waiver AT ALL from the prescribed set of daily points I am allowed. We're supposed to get 35 "flex points" a week to use (or not use) at our discretion. Yeah if I get anywhere NEAR using them, I don't lose a thing and this week showed the half-pound gain. :-(

Someone at work told me about watching the Biggest Loser or that she saw a magazine article about a woman and her fiance who went on the show. The woman lost 107 pounds in 6 months. W.T.F.? So that's like 18 pounds a month. That's insane. Of course, she had a nutritionist and personal trainer with her all the time. So that explains a lot. But how is this woman going to cope with that? I mean, after the personal trainer goes away (which he will because, hey, he goes where the TV show sends him) and the nutritionist too, what will happen to her? How can someone sustain that kind of extreme weight loss over just a 6-month period? It's really setting people up to fail. And that makes me sad.

So really, I can't complain about my 5 pounds a month loss.

Anyway, enough of that.

Todd told me last night about a woman named Susan Boyle who appeared on Britain's Got Talent and how she brought the house down. I hadn't heard about it. On our local news radio channel this morning they talked about her too. I asked Todd to find me a link to the performance so I could see what the big deal was all about.

OH. MY. DOG.

Grab a tissue box and enjoy:

Susan Boyle

Tonight is Lost and I am looking forward to it, as usual!

And the Winner Is...

Todd, for the funniest moment of our 1-week vacation at the River (with Donna & Nicole in tow).

Here it is:

We were all playing a game called Talisman. An oldie that was out of print for about 15 years, then suddenly got a major reprinting in 2007. Gorgeous. Somehow Todd managed to get three of these new ones for Christmas. Thanks, Amazon's Shitty Wishlist!

I digress.

So while we were playing, we were listening to my iPod on speakers; my playlist of 1980s gems. So at one point, Bonnie Tyler's throaty (and cheesy, I'll give you that) Total Eclipse of the Heart was radiating out of the speakers:

Every now and then I get a little bit angry
and I know I have to get out and cry
(Turnaround)
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified
but then I see the look in your eyes
(Turn around, bright eyes)
Every now and then I fall apart
(Turn around, bright eyes)
Every now and then I fall apart...

Todd turns to me and with a completely straight face asks, "So, is this song about Planet of the Apes?" And I'm totally puzzled like, "...whaaat?" And he says, "Bright Eyes? That was Zira's pet name for Charlton Heston." And then I started screaming, flailing, and choking from laughing my guts out.

1st Runner Up: Weird Al Yankovic for the following line uttered during the Rifftrax for Jurassic Park. The scene: Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, and Sam Neill are in the green car waiting to begin their tour of the park. Goldblum tries to explain 'chaos theory' to Dern by caressing her wrists and dripping water on her hands. Here's the line:

"If you wanna see a creep grope your girlfriend, just go to the Jersey Shore!"


PS: I finally have some color! I was beginning to look like lumpy oatmeal. Now I look like lumpy toasted oatmeal. :-P

Guilty Pleasures

Come ON. We all have them: those goof-ball songs that we just belt out at the top of our lungs when nobody else is around.

I now present to you my top 10 guilty pleasure songs in order of rising potential embarrassment:


10. She's So Cold, Rolling Stones
favorite lyrics:
"I'm so hot for her
I'm on fire for her
I'm so hot for her and she's so cold
I'm the burning bush!
I'm the burning fire!
I'm the bleeding volcano!"

HAWT.

9. Escalator of Life, Robert Hazard
favorite lyrics:
"Hey, girl! I'm a personal friend of Gloria Vanderbilt.
I got all the gold in the world around my neck.
Come ride the steel dinosaur.
Run wild in the jungle.
It's a Zulu nation!
Seduction,
Sacrifice, a new sensation.
NOTHING EVER CHANGES!"

Bloody brilliant.


8. Mr. Roboto, STYX
favorite lyrics:
"You're wondering who I am:
Machine or mannequin?
With parts made in Japan,
I am the modern man!"

You must pronounce modern as mod-ren for full effect.


7. Mislead, Kool and the Gang
favorite lyrics:
"She's as heavy as a Chevy.
Pure excitement, misled.
When she touches, can't resist her.
I'm a puppet when she's playing.
She's outgoing but I love her so.
Misled."

Aw, yeah!


6. Valley Girl, Frank Zappa
favorite lyrics:
"So, like, I go into this like salon place, y'know?
And I wanted like to get my toenails done.
And the lady like goes, 'oh my God, your toenails are like so GRODY!'
It was like really embarrassing.
She's like 'OH MY GOD, like BAG THOSE TOENAILS!'
I'm like, fer sure...."

Ah, the early 1980s.


5. You Spin Me Like a Record, Dead or Alive
favorite lyrics:
"All I know is that to me
you look like you're lots of fun.
Open up your lovin' arms
Watch out, here I come."

Yeah, tell me you don't secretly love this song too.


4. I Can't Hold Back, Survivor
favorite lyrics:
"I've been holding back the night
I've been searching for a clue from you
I'm gonna try with all my might
To make this story line come true
Can you feel me tremble when we touch?
Can you feel the hand of fate
Reaching out to both of us?
This love affair cant wait

I can't hold back, I'm on the edge
(I cant hold back)
You voice explodes inside my head
I cant hold back, I wont back down
Girl, its too late to turn back now"

God, I love this song. AWESOME.


3. Sister Christian, Night Ranger
favorite lyrics:
"You're motoring.
What's your price for flight?
And finding Mister Right?
You'll be all right tonight."

SWEET


2. Take It On the Run, REO Speedwagon
favorite lyrics:
"You're thinking up your white lies.
You're putting on your bedroom eyes.
You say you're coming home but you won't say when.
But I can feel it coming.
If you leave tonight keep running.
And you need never look back again."

Throws up the horns: \m/


1. Apache, The Sugarhill Gang
favorite lyrics: THE WHOLE DAMN THING.

As guilty as it gets, really.


Yeah, so...I have more than 10, but I don't want you to think I'm a total freak.

So fess up, now; what are YOURS?