Caption the Cat #2
"Get...down? What is this crazy language that you speak?"
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Friday, May 04, 2007
I Love My Knitting Friends
Actual segment of a g-mail conversation from my knitting google group:
Katie starts it off:
---Hey, I wondered if any of you have some light brown or tan yarn (preferably wool) to spare for a friend of mine. I checked my stash and am sorely lacking. She just needs enough to make a face on a small dark purple stuffed bear she's making for her daughter and since she's a new knitter (well, new again) she has no stash! I'll be there tonight if anyone has any to give.
Thanks!
Katie---
from me:
---Come now, Katie, do you even need to ask? LOL I'll bring it tonight!
G---
from Elizabeth:
---Katie, I suspect you'll see twenty-seven-eleven different tans tonight, but in the unlikely event that no one has any -- let me know and I'll pop some in the mail. I'm assuming worsted weight?
I laughed for about an hour....
Katie starts it off:
---Hey, I wondered if any of you have some light brown or tan yarn (preferably wool) to spare for a friend of mine. I checked my stash and am sorely lacking. She just needs enough to make a face on a small dark purple stuffed bear she's making for her daughter and since she's a new knitter (well, new again) she has no stash! I'll be there tonight if anyone has any to give.
Thanks!
Katie---
from me:
---Come now, Katie, do you even need to ask? LOL I'll bring it tonight!
G---
from Elizabeth:
---Katie, I suspect you'll see twenty-seven-eleven different tans tonight, but in the unlikely event that no one has any -- let me know and I'll pop some in the mail. I'm assuming worsted weight?
Elizabeth---
from Marsha:
---Um, yeah, I'm looking for a wool yarn that was made in very limited supply two years ago from a species of sheep that has since become extinct. The yarn was hand-spun by Swedish nuns by the light of the aurora borealis, and was hand-dyed by Brazilian businessmen on their lunch break one Tuesday. The colorway is fuchsia, dark gray, and lime green, and the yarn is a worsted weight with color changes every two inches. Oh--and I need about five thousand yards of it. Anyone have some?
{Gina raises her hand}
Gina's stash has EVERYTHING in it. :)
Marsha Knits---
from Marsha:
---Um, yeah, I'm looking for a wool yarn that was made in very limited supply two years ago from a species of sheep that has since become extinct. The yarn was hand-spun by Swedish nuns by the light of the aurora borealis, and was hand-dyed by Brazilian businessmen on their lunch break one Tuesday. The colorway is fuchsia, dark gray, and lime green, and the yarn is a worsted weight with color changes every two inches. Oh--and I need about five thousand yards of it. Anyone have some?
{Gina raises her hand}
Gina's stash has EVERYTHING in it. :)
Marsha Knits---
I laughed for about an hour....
Thursday, May 03, 2007
How I Know Hell Exists
Here are my top 5 reasons why I know Hell exists:
5. Desperately unfunny and/or uninteresting TV shows like The War At Home, The OC, and American Dad remain on the air while great shows like MST3K, Firefly, and The Chappelle Show get canceled or otherwise derailed.
4. The over-PCing of Sesame Street. I grew up with the PBS gems: Sesame Street, Mr. Rogers, and The Electric Company---all very fine shows. My Sesame Street, however, looked a lot different than the Sesame Street as of late. Look people, I want my Count to count obsessively, stun people, and have thunder and lightening crashing around while he laughs like Vincent Price. Cookie Monster eats cookies, goddammit. He's not "carb conscious," you asshats. Telly is, single-handedly, the MOST annoying puppet, character, or cartoon ever created for children's television. Don't even get me started on the Satan-spawn known as Elmo. And what the hell did you do to Grover's fur, you sadists?
3. The Shittin' Bears commercial. Observe:
Whatever happened to Mr. Whipple? Hmmm?
2. The Bratz toy line. More specifically, the BABY Bratz toy line, which now brings us down into the deeper levels of Hell. I'd put Baby Bratz at about the 4th layer. I propose that the name for this line of toys be changed to Whorz. And now, oh THANK YOU, Lionsgate Films, for bringing us...Bratz the Motion Picture!
and the number one reason why I know that Hell exists is...
1. Rachael Ray. Her mantra should be: "I exist, therefore Hell does." That woman is in deeper with the Devil than Hitler. Every time I turn on the freakin' TV, her stupid, Joker-esque maw is spewing forth some bullshit. Look, Ms. Ray? Um, Rachael? Shut your EVOO, yum-o, sammy hole and get the fuck off my Triscuit boxes while you're at it. K? Oh wait, sorry, I have to say it so that you, as an evil succubus of the netherworld, can understand it: THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU! Sigh. The only comfort I can take is this: when she dies, (which will be an inordinately long time from now because, hey, only the GOOD die young, or so my grandmom and Billy Joel said), she will, for all eternity have to be the sex slave to 6,164,789 mutant poop demons who look like Nick Nolte when he's having a particularly shitty day (no pun intended)--- oral too. Yeah, I went there.
5. Desperately unfunny and/or uninteresting TV shows like The War At Home, The OC, and American Dad remain on the air while great shows like MST3K, Firefly, and The Chappelle Show get canceled or otherwise derailed.
4. The over-PCing of Sesame Street. I grew up with the PBS gems: Sesame Street, Mr. Rogers, and The Electric Company---all very fine shows. My Sesame Street, however, looked a lot different than the Sesame Street as of late. Look people, I want my Count to count obsessively, stun people, and have thunder and lightening crashing around while he laughs like Vincent Price. Cookie Monster eats cookies, goddammit. He's not "carb conscious," you asshats. Telly is, single-handedly, the MOST annoying puppet, character, or cartoon ever created for children's television. Don't even get me started on the Satan-spawn known as Elmo. And what the hell did you do to Grover's fur, you sadists?
3. The Shittin' Bears commercial. Observe:
Whatever happened to Mr. Whipple? Hmmm?
2. The Bratz toy line. More specifically, the BABY Bratz toy line, which now brings us down into the deeper levels of Hell. I'd put Baby Bratz at about the 4th layer. I propose that the name for this line of toys be changed to Whorz. And now, oh THANK YOU, Lionsgate Films, for bringing us...Bratz the Motion Picture!
and the number one reason why I know that Hell exists is...
1. Rachael Ray. Her mantra should be: "I exist, therefore Hell does." That woman is in deeper with the Devil than Hitler. Every time I turn on the freakin' TV, her stupid, Joker-esque maw is spewing forth some bullshit. Look, Ms. Ray? Um, Rachael? Shut your EVOO, yum-o, sammy hole and get the fuck off my Triscuit boxes while you're at it. K? Oh wait, sorry, I have to say it so that you, as an evil succubus of the netherworld, can understand it: THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU! Sigh. The only comfort I can take is this: when she dies, (which will be an inordinately long time from now because, hey, only the GOOD die young, or so my grandmom and Billy Joel said), she will, for all eternity have to be the sex slave to 6,164,789 mutant poop demons who look like Nick Nolte when he's having a particularly shitty day (no pun intended)--- oral too. Yeah, I went there.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Evil
I would just like to point out that Etsy is incredibly E.V.I.L.--- evil to my credit cards, that is.
Who can withstand such diabolical torture as items such as this, this, this, this, or especially, this? For my part, I could NOT withstand the latter....I'm calling it an early birthday present to myself.
My guess is that ETSY stands for: Evil Temptations Seduce You.
Who can withstand such diabolical torture as items such as this, this, this, this, or especially, this? For my part, I could NOT withstand the latter....I'm calling it an early birthday present to myself.
My guess is that ETSY stands for: Evil Temptations Seduce You.
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