Wednesday, April 25, 2007

100 Ways To Tell If You Are From Philly

  1. You realize that your favorite dessert is wooder ice. (It comes in churry, strawburry, and other assorted flavors.)
  2. Your favorite is lemon.
  3. You find yourself using "Yo" and "Youse guys" when talking long distance to family members.
  4. You know how to spell Schuylkill.
  5. You think $2,500 for insurance on a '79 Toyota is a bargain.
  6. You find yourself at a nice restaurant thinking, "This would only be three bucks at a truck."
  7. You can sleep soundly through gunshots and sirens in the neighborhood.
  8. You visit New York and notice how clean it is.
  9. You believe that the car on your side, flashing its turn signal, wants you to close the gap with the car in front.
  10. You can't eat fries without Cheeze Whiz.
  11. You find street people greet you by first name.
  12. You don't think Wawa sounds funny.
  13. You snub a cheesesteak that isn't on an Amoroso roll.
  14. Your parents, brothers, sisters, aunts and uncles all live on the same block.
  15. You love scrapple for breakfast.
  16. You took a vacation at the shore (and liked it).
  17. You know where to find the Rocky statue.
  18. Only tourists go to Geno’s and Pat's for an authentic cheesesteak. The only time you go there is when you are blitzed and it's 2:00 AM.
  19. You buy soft pretzels at a traffic light.
  20. You call your sidewalk “the pavement.”
  21. You've never referred to Philadelphia as anything but "Philly." And New Jersey has always been "Jersey."
  22. You refer to Pennsylvania as "PA" (pronounced Pee-ay).
  23. You know who "Punxsutawney Phil" is, and what it means if he sees his shadow.
  24. You can't go to a wedding without hearing the "Chicken Dance," at least 1 Polka, and either an Italian song (sung in Italian,) or "Hava Nagila."
  25. At least 5 people on your block have electric "candles" in all or most of their windows all year long.
  26. You know what a "State Store" is, and your out-of-state friends find it incredulous that you can't purchase liquor at the mini-mart.
  27. You don’t even have mini-marts.
  28. You buy your beer and soda only by the case.
  29. You own only three condiments "salt, pepper, and Heinz ketchup.”
  30. Words like "hoagie," "crick," "chipped ham," "sticky buns," "shoo-fly pie," "pierogies," and "pocketbook," actually mean something to you.
  31. You can eat cold pizza (even for breakfast) and know others who do the same. (Those from NY find this "barbaric".)
  32. You not only have heard of Birch Beer, but you know it comes in several colors: Red, White, Brown, Gold.
  33. You can eat a cold soft pretzel from a street vendor without fear and enjoy it.
  34. A cab ride is cheaper than taking Septa.
  35. You know the difference between a cheese steak & a pizza steak sandwich and know that you can't get a really good one outside of Philly.
  36. You know that Blue Ball, Intercourse, Climax, Bird-in-Hand, Beaver, Moon, Virginville, Paradise, Mars, and Slippery Rock are PA towns.
  37. You know what a township, borough, and commonwealth is.
  38. You can identify drivers from New York, New Jersey, Ohio, or other neighboring states by their unique and irritating driving habits.
  39. A traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a horse-drawn carriage on the highway in Lancaster County.
  40. You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
  41. You carry jumper cables in your car and your female passengers know how to use them.
  42. You still keep kitty litter, starting fluid, de-icer, or a snow brush in your trunk, even if you live in the south.
  43. Driving is always better in winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
  44. You have the pizza place on speed dial.
  45. As a kid you built snow forts that were taller than you were.
  46. Your graduating class consisted of mostly Polish, Irish, & Italian names.
  47. "You guys" and "yiz" is a perfectly acceptable reference to a group of men & women.
  48. You know how to respond to the question "Djeetyet?" (Didyoueatyet?)
  49. You know how to pronounce Bryn Mawr, Wilkes-Barre, Schuylkill, Bala Cynwyd, Passyunk, Conshohocken, and Monongahela.
  50. You know what a "Mummer" is, and are disappointed if you can't catch at least highlights of the parade.
  51. School closings due to snow take the radio stations a half an hour to finish, because just about every town outside Philly has its own school district.
  52. You or someone in your immediate family went to Temple.
  53. Your turkey has "filling," not "stuffing," and most certainly, NOT "dressing."
  54. You have an uncontrollable urge to buy bread, eggs, and milk when you hear the word "snow."
  55. You think a typical vacation is two weeks on the front step.
  56. You refer to something as "a whole nother," as in "That's a whole nother issue."
  57. The local paper covers National and international headlines on 1/4 page, but requires six pages for sports.
  58. You know the four seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Summer, and Construction.
  59. You knew Will Smith before he became famous.
  60. You think South Street is Philly's version of The Village.
  61. It drives you crazy when somebody calls sneakers "tennis shoes."
  62. You would "BOO" your own mom if she made a bad sports play.
  63. You don't call a cheesesteak a "Philly cheesesteak," or a "hoagie" a sub.
  64. Seeing the Liberty Bell, and Independence Mall ain't a big deal.
  65. You've never actually even been to the Liberty Bell, or the only time you were there was on a class trip in third grade.
  66. You will buy a soft pretzel from anyone, anywhere, without even thinking of where it was - or where his hands have been.
  67. You know what Power 99 is and remember Carter & Sanborne in the AM and you are an old-ass Philadelphian if you remember Stanley T.
  68. You know how to cheat SEPTA.
  69. You ever ordered shrimp-fried rice, 3 chicken wings, a pizza roll and home-made iced tea all from the same place.
  70. You’re familiar with double and triple parking.
  71. You know what a "Jawn" is.
  72. You refer to the baseball stadium as “The Vet,” yes even the new one.
  73. You used to go to the Gallery or South Street in the summer just to chill.
  74. You know what “bo-bos” are and the song about them that you sung in 6th grade.
  75. You got a Chinese-food joint on the corner of your block.
  76. You grew up jumping rope (double dutch), playing “wall ball,” Red Light Green Light, jailbreak, or playin' ball on milk crates.
  77. You know where the "Platt" is.
  78. The “Mister Softee” truck comes around at 3:00 AM.
  79. You end every sentence with, "You know" at least 2 times.
  80. You want olive oil, not mayonnaise on your hoagie.
  81. You hate the Redskins & Cowboys.
  82. You say ACME like "ACK-A-ME."
  83. You call the sprinkles on top of your ice cream "jimmies."
  84. You know who Jim O`Brien is and how he died.
  85. You can't have lunch without a Tastycake.
  86. You still ain't sure about Jerry Penacolli.
  87. A vacation at the Jersey shore (Down-a-shoore) is better than going to the Bahamas cause there's more shit to do and you know everybody there.
  88. You know what and where "Boathouse Row" is.
  89. You know that M.O.V.E. ain't a new kind of dance.
  90. You have a plan B, C, and D as soon as SEPTA threatens to go on strike, AGAIN.
  91. You can make a cheesesteak and you've never been taught.
  92. You know what “The El” is.
  93. You love Jerry Blavat even if you really don't.
  94. You know about Sarcone's bakery.
  95. You call the Italian Market "9th Street.”
  96. You remember the ORIGINAL Bookbinders.
  97. You remember Lit Brothers, Bonwit Teller, Gimbels, and Wanamaker’s.
  98. You still call it Delaware Avenue.
  99. You actually dig these jokes.
  100. John DiBella is back on the radio again???
I can identify with a great many of these! How about youse guys? ;-)


Katie J said...

Yup, I'm orginally from outa state where we say things like "tennis shoes", "sub" and "pop" (not soda). However, I understood quite a few and I gave up saying "pop" when we moved to another state long ago.

Marsha Brofka-Berends said...

'Fess up, Gina: how many of these are true for you?

Gina said...

LOL, 85!


the nicole kline experience said...

dude, i think they're all true for me. except i won't eat at those shitty cheesesteak places even AT 2 am when i'm wasted. i'm a loyal fan of jim's steaks or, more often, lorenzo's pizza!

Anonymous said...

We moved outa Philly a year-and-a-half ago and NOW I realize how much of that list is true (and how much I miss the... ha-ha... 'Philly Experience'). We came back for a Doctor's Appointment for my daughter at CHoP and I was flying up '95 with WOGL playing and being cut off left and right even though I was doing 70-something. "I'm Home", I signed. LOLALOT -hcc