"Um, mommy, look at my fuzzimous ears and how super cute they are attached to my sleeping football head. Then you'll forget that I put tooth holes in your birthday cards, scratched your walls, broke the glass in daddy's picture frame, and knocked every item on your dresser onto the floor the other day. Also, mommy, please note how achingly adorable my chubby paws are, particularly the one covering my smoochy face and you won't care that I made a wee-wee in the foyer closet, ripped up your curtains, and made pulls in all your furniture."
Totally stolen from a blog that I love to read because it's so freakin' hilarious: The Half-Assed Knitter.
Bold for stuff you’ve done, italics for stuff you plan to do one day, and normal for stuff you’re not planning on doing.
Afghan/Blanket (baby) I-cord Garter stitch Knitting with metal wire Shawl Stockinette stitch Socks: top-down Socks: toe-up Knitting with camel yarn Mittens: Cuff-up Mittens: Tip-down Hat Knitting with silk Moebius band knitting Participating in a KAL Sweater (if baby sweaters count) Drop stitch patterns Knitting with recycled/secondhand yarn Slip stitch patterns Knitting with banana fiber yarn Domino knitting (modular knitting) Twisted stitch patterns Knitting with bamboo yarn Two end knitting Charity knitting Knitting with soy yarn Toy/doll clothing Knitting with circular needles Knitting with your own handspun yarn Slippers Graffiti knitting (knitting items on, or to be left on the street) Continental knitting Designing knitted garments Cable stitch patterns (incl. Aran) Lace patterns Publishing a knitting book Scarf Teaching a child to knit American/English knitting (as opposed to continental) Knitting to make money Button holes Knitting with alpaca Fair Isle knitting Norwegian knitting Dying with plant colors Knitting items for a wedding Household items (dishcloths, washcloths, tea cozies…) Knitting socks (or other small tubular items) on two circulars Olympic knitting Knitting with someone else’s handspun yarn Knitting with DPNs Holiday related knitting Teaching a male how to knit (maybe) Bobbles Knitting for a living Knitting with cotton Knitting smocking Dying yarn Steeks Knitting art Fulling/felting Knitting with wool Textured knitting Kitchener BO Purses/bags Knitting with beads Swatching Long Tail CO Entrelac Knitting and purling backwards Machine knitting Knitting with self-patterning/self-striping/variegating yarn Stuffed toys Baby items Knitting with cashmere Darning Jewelry Knitting with synthetic yarn Writing a pattern Gloves Intarsia Knitting with linen Knitting for preemies Tubular CO Freeform knitting Short rows Cuffs/fingerless mitts/arm warmers Pillows Knitting a pattern from an online knitting magazine Rug Knitting on a loom Thrummed knitting Knitting a gift Knitting for pets Shrug/bolero/poncho Knitting with dog/cat hair (NEVER) Hair accessories Knitting in public
Yes, it is hard to believe that I have come up with 100 posts! To commemorate today's 100th post to this blog, this entry is in honor of the person who got me started blogging: Marsha. So, Marsha, these pictures of Deep 13 are for you:
Just thought I'd give an update on some knitting progress I've made. I did start & finish a Fantasy Naturale Market Bag for my secret pal. I'll be sending this off to her with some other goodies tomorrow. Here's how it looks:
I kind of like the rainbow yarn! I hope she likes it too. This bag is very slightly different than the pattern. For one thing, I picked up 96 instead of 100 stitches. I find it's just easier to pick up an even number of stitches per side (24 instead of 25). This one also is slightly less long than the pattern calls for; it's 14 inches instead of 15. And I made the handles just a tad longer and wider by a row, which you can see in the picture below. You can also see just how much this bad boy will hold. I wrapped a small pillow in a piece of black velvet fabric and shoved it in there so you can see the pattern and capacity. There's a lot more room to go, if I wanted:
So now I am working on the baby kimono for my sister's little baby girl, who will be named Aubrey, by the way. I'm about halfway done that. Here's a picture of the progress so far. This is the back:
I really like working with this yarn too. It's called Circus. I got it for $1.5o a ball from Smiley's Yarns. Nice stuff: 85% cotton, 15% acrylic. I bought WAY more than I will need for this kimono, so I see a matching hat and some booties happening too.... In fact, I bought the same amount of this yarn (5 skeins) in another colorway too, called citrus. it's yellows, oranges, and greens with the ivory. So depending on how long it takes me to get this one done (with accompanying hat and booties), I might get TWO sets done. That would be cool.
And as for the socks, well I still have a long way to go, I think. But I did manage to turn the heel on one of them. Here's how that looks:
I had a pretty good, if long, week last week. We had plumbing repaired, got a new car, and it was my birthday on Wednesday. To top off the week, a package arrived yesterday from my Secret Pal containing the goodies listed below:
A book: The Curse of Chalion; 2 "Rifftrax" audio CDs for Star Wars Ep. 1, The Phantom Menace and the instructions; a 3-pack of Mighty Leaf tea; Botan Rice Candy (which I am eating right now); a jar of Devon cream and strawberry conserve; lace-weight, 100% Merino-wool yarn, cloisonne stitch markers; a pattern for a "Hanami" lace stole. Little pink flowers were strewn about the box, representing cherry blossoms.
To detail some of the items in the box: first of all, that yarn: it's so buttery soft and the color is just divine. In fact, the colorway is called "cherry blossom." If you click on the picture above, you will get a larger view of the "Hanami" stole. Hanami is the term for the Japanese annual ritual of viewing cherry blossoms (sakura). This stole is absolutely gorgeous. I can only hope that I do it justice with my knitting! The yarn is pictured in close-up below. And just look at the lovely little cloisonne stitch-markers!
Quite possibly, and not surprisingly, my most favorite item in the box has to be the Star Wars, Episode 1: The Phantom Menace Rifftrax CDs. I must be living in a cave or something because I didn't even know this existed. What is it? Ok well, as everyone knows, Mystery Science Theater 3000 was my most favorite TV show ever. It went off the air a few years ago, much to my chagrin. Well, that hasn't stopped Mike Nelson (and often Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett) from giving movies the "MST3K treatment." Enter Rifftrax. This, my friends, is Mike's and Kevin's recorded commentary on Star Wars, Episode 1, on CD, which you play in tandem with the movie. So you get to watch the crapulence of the movie, while hearing Mike and Kevin laying down hilarious, timely riffs on the movie. Yes. Yes. I know. It's ok, I can wait while you go change your underwear....Ok all better? Needless to say, Todd and I watched the movie with this Rifftrax last night and I pretty near broke something internally from laughing so hard. Most excellent. I've visited their website and there WILL be more of these Rifftrax in my "not-too-distant future."
This morning, after I complete this post, I will make myself some Italian toast with the strawberry conserve and serve myself a cup of the Mighty Leaf tea, which is the best tea I've ever had. Seriously. I've had it before, and it is fantastic. I think I'll try the Orange Dulce....
So thank you, thank you, dear Secret Pal for such a wonderful box of treats!
This is a story; a story about fate. Gather 'round and enjoy:
My sister, brother-in-law, and nephew all came up from North Carolina on Friday night for a visit. They also had to attend a First Holy Communion party for 2 of my brother-in-law's nephews. They stayed with me in Delaware. Saturday comes and my sister et. al. all go to said Communion festivities and Todd and I headed over to Jan and Marsha's to celebrate Sylvia's (their daughter) 2nd birthday. A good time was had by all and a great cake was eaten by all (thanks, Jan)!
Saturday night, when we got back home from Jan and Marsha's, I started to do some tidying in the kitchen. I loaded the dishwasher and fed the beasts. Todd went down to the basement to scoop up the cat boxes. Precisely 28 seconds after Todd went into the basement I hear him freaking out because there, apparently, was water in the basement again. Not tons, but puddles here and there.
Why again? Well...this is "a whole nother" story (as they say in Philly). But, in short, we had about 4-5 days of solid, very heavy rain a couple of weeks ago. On the last day of rain, we discovered about 1/2 inch of water in our basement. Not everywhere; it wasn't entirely flooded. But mostly on the left side and towards the wall on the garage side.
Anyway, I wondered for a minute or two if it would be better to stay in the kitchen where I was safe from Todd's fury or to go down to the basement and attempt to calm him down and figure out where this mystery water was coming from. Finally I heard him call up to me, "Can you come down here and try to help me figure this out?" He was still angry, but not as livid as when he first went down there. Todd will willingly admit that he has "his father's temper." This isn't necessarily entirely true. In my experience, there isn't much that sets Todd off, really. He's pretty mellow. But I think I can now pinpoint what does: confusion, frustration, and God of War. In this case, it was both confusion & frustration.
So I got down there and the walls are dry; it doesn't seem musty or damp down there either. I checked the washer; it's totally dry underneath. We stood around for a couple of minutes literally scratching our heads (well, I was anyway) and still couldn't figure it out. Suddenly, I heard this trickling sound. I looked over to the utility sink and see water running out of the trap underneath. This is the very same trap that we required that the seller replace because it was broken. I mean, it's obvious that it was new pipework, but they did a swell job installing it, didn't they?
Well, Todd just about goes ape shit. He starts, "WE'RE CALLING STEVE RIGHT NOW!" Steve was our realtor in Delaware. Like WTF is Steve going to do? "CAN WE SUE? THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS!" No, probably not. He's absolutely infuriated. The cats are terrified and scrambling up the steps and through the kitchen to get away from his yelling. I always imagine what's going on in their heads, "AGH! LOUD NOISES! LOUD NOISES! RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!"
So I left him to his ire and went upstairs to call the plumber. Luckily we found a very nice plumber in Delaware. Remember, this is Saturday night about 7:30-8:00. His phone was busy for a while. In the meantime, my sister and company had returned from Communion-o-rama. I explained the situation to them and my brother-in-law went to have a look to see if it was something easily fixable. He came back up and said, "Yeah, um, call the plumber." So I finally got through to the plumber. He asks, "Well how is the water coming out?" I'm like, "Hen?" He says, "This is what I need you to do and call me back: run everything in the house for a few minutes: every sink, flush all the toilets like 5 times, run the showers, etc., then look at the trap and tell me what you see."
So we did. Lo and behold, the trap was indeed broken but also, and more importantly, our sewer line was blocked! So the water was coming UP from the sewer line and out of the broken trap! I called the plumber back and he says, "I'll be there tomorrow morning, tell me when." I said we had guests that were staying with us so to come late morning, around 11:00.
Sunday arrives. I see off my sister and family after breakfast at the "Vogon Diner," as Todd has named it. I'll explain later.... So the plumber comes exactly at 11:00 and goes to work. And what dirty, thankless work it was. Apparently, the freakin' IDIOTS that lived there before us and/or the workers who fixed-up the house jammed everything under the sun down the toilets. Then...there were the roots. OY. We have 3 very nice trees in front of our house. Two pines with a red maple in the middle. The plumber thinks that the maple's roots are the ones reaming through our sewer line. But we might have to get rid of all 3 of the trees out front. Which would be very sad, as they are nice trees. We will have to call a tree expert to come and tell us which tree is the culprit and hopefully we won't have to get rid of all of them.
Anyway, the plumber was at my house for like 3 hours. He fixed the trap too. He even cleaned up the horrible mess in the basement. I mean we are talking about the nastiest of stuff from the sewer. So as he's leaving, he happens to pass the passenger side of our car. And he goes, "Oh, wow, look at your tire! You guys need to have that looked at. That's going to blow." I look down and see that our front passenger-side tire has a BUBBLE in the rubber about the size of a golf ball near the inside rim. I have never seen anything like it.
I was like WTF? Where in the world did THAT come from? So, of course, Saturn's service department isn't open on Sunday. And pretty much no emergency mechanic exists in the state of Delaware. Monday morning, we call Saturn of Philly and they say, "Hmm...yeah...well we can't see you until this afternoon...uh...just don't hit anything."
Excuse me? WHAT? I-95 is like Satan's orgy of potholes through the city of Chester and Delaware County in general. I wanted to go kill them. All the rest of the morning I was mumbling and cursing under my breath, "'Just don't hit anything,' hmph, MY ASS. Fucktards. Why I oughtta...!" So Todd called Saturn of Newark. He explained the issue to them. "Come right now," they said. We went. I was nearly out of my mind in hysterics on the way over there from worrying about that tire blowing out while we were driving.
So we get there, hand them the keys and then go sit the waiting room at Saturn of Newark. About 10 minutes later the mechanic comes over and says, "We have to replace the tire, as you probably figured, but we need to replace both tires in the front because otherwise your car will be severely mal-aligned. Your tires in the front are at the end of their life anyway." What choice did I have? I trust the people at Newark. Philly, well, the less said about them, the better. So that was $335. And then we settled in to wait.
We're waiting. About 15 minutes goes by and Todd, who can't stand to watch the crapulence of Good Morning, America anymore, gets up and starts looking at the cars in the showroom. There's a sparkly, deep-blue Vue SUV there. Todd beckons me over and we look at it. It's nice. Not too huge. About 3 minutes later, a sales guy comes over. Nice man, named Roy, originally from Texas. I tell him about my ION and how I hate it. He laughs. I had a Saturn SL2, which I LOVED, before the retarded ION. And I mention that we were probably in the market for a new car very soon, which is true. If you will recall my Hobo Orgy post, I wanted to get a different car way back in August of last year!
So, Todd gets in the car and sits down and is like, "Oh man...this is bad...." He likes it. A lot. Todd's always wanted an SUV. Like WAY before they ever became THE car to drive here in the US. Roy talks about the features of the Vue and such then says, "Oh yes, we have a spring special going on until June, too. $3000 off all Vues, Relays, and Outlooks." Todd and I exchange looks.
So, I say, "Well, actually, I want a hybrid Vue." I mean gas is ridiculous and I get shitty-ass gas mileage in the ION. And I mean SHITTY-ASS. Something like 14 city and 20 highway, which is really unacceptable for a small-ish sedan. So we sit down with Roy and he asks us what features we want in the car, what our time-frame is; price-range, etc. I'm easy to please. It has to be automatic and have air-conditioning. That's really all I care about. Then he goes, "What about color?" "Well," I said, "I've always wanted a red car. RED. Not that yucky chianti, burgundy or whatever color--- oh and NO WHITE and I'm not too fond of black either---" At this point Todd got pouty, "But I think the black looks cool!" "Ok, black is fine," I said, "But really, no white, everything else is ok."
So Roy writes that down and everything else that we had said about what we liked and were looking for. Then he said, "Well, I have 2 hybrids here, want to drive one?" Todd and I exchanged looks again, then he went to check on how much longer we had to wait for the tire repairs. "Twenty minutes," Todd says. Roy says, "Ok, be right back!" And goes to get a hybrid for us to drive. While he's away, I remembered that I got a coupon in the mail from Saturn of Newark for $1000 over Kelley Blue Book value for any trade-in. This means that whatever the cost of the car is, I will get it for $4000 less ($3000 from the special and $1000 extra for the trade-in).
Roy comes back in. I get up and head for the door. I look outside. It's a red one. A totally, f'n sweet, fire-engine, red one. \m/ (Gina throws up the horns.) Roy says, "Remember I told you I had 2 hybrids here? Well here's one," he says, pointing to the gorgeous, red hybrid parked outside, "and the other one is white." We all laughed. (I later confirmed this by checking their web inventory. They have a gray one in a sister location at West Chester and they have a deep-blue one, but it was over the price range that I told him. So he wasn't lying!)
So we drive it; first me, then Todd. Awesome, smooth, comfortable, quiet, easy, lovely ride. The car was $24,700 and it has everything in it that I could ever possibly want. Now I want this car. Like big-time want this car. So Todd says to Roy, "So, how long will you be here today?" and laughs. Alas, only until 4:00. So Roy says, "No pressure, but, if you are able, how about you put a deposit on it? That way you can think about it and take your time because you know it's reserved for you. If you decide you really don't want it, just call and we'll completely refund you. It's no problem whatsoever."
Now, I've dealt with Saturn before, specifically Saturn of Newark. These are nice people to associate with. So I put $500 on it to hold it. Ok. The ION was done. Well, as soon as we got back in the newly-repaired ION, I immediately thought, "yuck." I KNEW I wanted that Vue! We went back and got it last night after work. This car comes with one year free On-Star service as well as 3 months free of XM satellite radio. Plus, it has a place for an MP3 player! DROOL.
So I thought about the new car like this: If we never had a backed up sewer line, and if the plumber never came, and then told me about the tire, I might not have ever noticed the dumb tire and where would I be now? And it is RED. And Wednesday is my birthday (yes, today). How's that as a rationalization for fate!?
Todd has taken to calling it "Bella Rossa:"
So it has free XM for 90 days. There are like 200 stations. Talk about option paralysis! One of them is all 80s! Drool x2! In fact, there is a channel for each decade, starting with the 40s! We happened to stop on the 50s at one point this morning.
Actual segment of a g-mail conversation from my knitting google group:
Katie starts it off: ---Hey, I wondered if any of you have some light brown or tan yarn (preferably wool) to spare for a friend of mine. I checked my stash and am sorely lacking. She just needs enough to make a face on a small dark purple stuffed bear she's making for her daughter and since she's a new knitter (well, new again) she has no stash! I'll be there tonight if anyone has any to give.
from me: ---Come now, Katie, do you even need to ask? LOL I'll bring it tonight!
G---
from Elizabeth: ---Katie, I suspect you'll see twenty-seven-eleven different tans tonight, but in the unlikely event that no one has any -- let me know and I'll pop some in the mail. I'm assuming worsted weight?
Elizabeth---
from Marsha: ---Um, yeah, I'm looking for a wool yarn that was made in very limited supply two years ago from a species of sheep that has since become extinct. The yarn was hand-spun by Swedish nuns by the light of the aurora borealis, and was hand-dyed by Brazilian businessmen on their lunch break one Tuesday. The colorway is fuchsia, dark gray, and lime green, and the yarn is a worsted weight with color changes every two inches. Oh--and I need about five thousand yards of it. Anyone have some?
{Gina raises her hand}
Gina's stash has EVERYTHING in it. :) Marsha Knits---
5. Desperately unfunny and/or uninteresting TV shows like The War At Home, The OC, and American Dad remain on the air while great shows like MST3K, Firefly, and The Chappelle Show get canceled or otherwise derailed.
4. The over-PCing of Sesame Street. I grew up with the PBS gems: Sesame Street, Mr. Rogers, and The Electric Company---all very fine shows. My Sesame Street, however, looked a lot different than the Sesame Street as of late. Look people, I want my Count to count obsessively, stun people, and have thunder and lightening crashing around while he laughs like Vincent Price. Cookie Monster eats cookies, goddammit. He's not "carb conscious," you asshats. Telly is, single-handedly, the MOST annoying puppet, character, or cartoon ever created for children's television. Don't even get me started on the Satan-spawn known as Elmo. And what the hell did you do to Grover's fur, you sadists?
3. The Shittin' Bears commercial. Observe:
Whatever happened to Mr. Whipple? Hmmm?
2. The Bratz toy line. More specifically, the BABY Bratz toy line, which now brings us down into the deeper levels of Hell. I'd put Baby Bratz at about the 4th layer. I propose that the name for this line of toys be changed to Whorz. And now, oh THANK YOU, Lionsgate Films, for bringing us...Bratz the Motion Picture!
and the number one reason why I know that Hell exists is...
1. Rachael Ray. Her mantra should be: "I exist, therefore Hell does." That woman is in deeper with the Devil than Hitler. Every time I turn on the freakin' TV, her stupid, Joker-esque maw is spewing forth some bullshit. Look, Ms. Ray? Um, Rachael? Shut your EVOO, yum-o, sammy hole and get the fuck off my Triscuit boxes while you're at it. K? Oh wait, sorry, I have to say it so that you, as an evil succubus of the netherworld, can understand it: THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU! Sigh. The only comfort I can take is this: when she dies, (which will be an inordinately long time from now because, hey, only the GOOD die young, or so my grandmom and Billy Joel said), she will, for all eternity have to be the sex slave to 6,164,789 mutant poop demons who look like Nick Nolte when he's having a particularly shitty day (no pun intended)--- oral too. Yeah, I went there.
I would just like to point out that Etsy is incredibly E.V.I.L.--- evil to my credit cards, that is. Who can withstand such diabolical torture as items such as this, this,this, this, or especially, this? For my part, I could NOT withstand the latter....I'm calling it an early birthday present to myself.
My guess is that ETSY stands for: Evil Temptations Seduce You.
