Happy Easter

Hi, all! Hope you have a Happy Easter or Super Spring Holiday or Equinox or Solemn Passover or whatever you celebrate this time of year.

Dear USPS:

A couple of things:

1) Stop making stamps as big as my ASS. To wit:


That Darth stamp is easily 4 times the size of your regular generic 41-cent stamp. I mean... seriously.

2). Also in reference to the above photo, stop charging double postage for square envelopes. That's unfair. And if you think we actually believe that "they don't fit in our mail sorters," then you guys are retarded. Head for the escape pod; your jig is up!

I would now like to present to you, my friends, the 5 lamest stamps that are in current circulation:

#5

I really have nothing against President Ford. Really. Granted, I probably remember little about him on a political level, as he was sworn in when I was 2. But was his time as President really groundbreaking in any way? Did he institute major social reforms or life-changing policies? Was his presidency even fraught with scandals or BAD policies? NO NO NO.

Face it, this man was President by accident. If he 'aint on money, then he probably shouldn't be on a stamp either.






#4




Congratulations to Jessica McMillan, from Mrs. Letitia Johnson's 7th grade art class at William McKinley middle school in Cleveland, Ohio for the winning submission in the USPS "Design a completely useless stamp" contest. Her prize was a lifetime supply of these pointless 10-cent stamps that she designed.












#3


This stamp from 2007 was created to celebrate the centennial of the statehood of Oklahoma.

Yeah.

Um.

Who gives a rat's ass?

Lame.

Whatever.




#2

So now we're really reaching here for material, eh? Four poorly-framed vacation photos of someone's uncle's boat. God I am like slipping into a coma from the boredom of just looking at these!
LAME.



And now the lamest USPS stamp in current circulation...


#1



Oh, COME ON. Seriously, WTF?

Another Funny Cat Cartoon

Remember the one I posted here with the cat trying to wake up the guy in his bed? This is by the same person:

Me WANTY

This book.

Almost Makes Me Want to Have One...

...but not quite. LOL

But still, too freakin' cute:

Look at her little feet! How adorable are baby feet, seriously? I could eat them up! Nom nom nom. Aubrey is six months old. She'll be seven months old on March 21. She's pretty big! I think she weighs 18 pounds or so.


In this picture, if you look at it up close, you can see her little teeth coming out on the bottom! She's such a good baby.

Now I will tell you all a horror story. Well, sort-of. It has a good ending.

So, a couple weekends ago I went to visit my sister for her birthday (which was March 1). On Sunday, we went out to do a bunch of shopping all over the place. You know how it is. You have to like make the rounds in 7 different stores to get all the stuff you need. It was a beautiful day in Wake Forest, NC. Probably mid-60s in temperature. My sister, who is accustomed to doing about 47 things at one time---she is way TYPE A---was simultaneously putting a jacket on the baby, and buckling her into the car seat carrier, putting her shoes on, getting her keys, writing out a list of stuff she had to get, talking to my brother-in-law about dinner, finding her glasses, and rattling off a list of things for my nephew Ethan to do. Ethan is 13. He looks like he's 18. But, rest assured, he IS 13. I don't have any kids, but even I know what boys are like at age 13. Silly, goofy things. I think Spongebob Squarepants said it best, "I'm a GOOFY GOOBER!" Yeah so, my sister, because she can't relax, lets his silliness grate on her nerves. So after an exasperating conversation with him while doing all those other things, she was finally ready to go. OK.

First stop: a baby-clothing store to try to find a little Easter hat for Aubrey. We get to the place and it's closed on Sunday. D'oh! Ok, onto Wal*Mart! Yaaay...oh no, wait. BOOO! We park. I grab a cart. My sister takes the baby in her carrier out of the car-seat base. She says, "These car-seat carriers are great because they lock into the top part of the shopping cart." Cool, I thought. The problem is, if you are as thin as my sister, lifting an 18-pound baby in a carrier up around chest-height is not as easy as all that. So she can't lift it high enough. Finally, with both hands, she hoists the carrier up, on an angle, to try to catch the edge of it with the cart. Aubrey comes tumbling out like a rag-doll and lands with a thud, right on the asphalt in the parking lot.

#@#^$&GDFG#!!!!!&QWR%#&&*#$*(#(*)T!!!!!WUQW()#)Q#$*Q#$!!!!^^&%$@Q&#^_(@#*++!!!!

That's pretty much all that I could think of for a couple of seconds. I was in the best position to scoop her up off the ground, so I did, vigorously rubbing the back of her head. She cried. A lot.

What happened? In the furor of getting ready to leave the house, my sister forgot to buckle Aubrey into the carrier. And thus the hard lesson of not doing 47 things at one time was learned.

We walked around on rubbery legs with trembling hands in Wal*Mart for about a half hour like 2 zombies. We were both just so horrified and distraught that we couldn't even remember what the hell we were doing there. Aubrey fell asleep. We decided that it might be a good idea to put some food in our bellies before venturing onward. We ate at some pizza place. In the restaurant, Aubrey woke up, looked at my sister, and gave her this huge toothless smile. All was well. She ate, was playing with her feet, making her usual baby faces and noises, and was generally very happy.

But man, for that split second, seeing her hit the ground, I felt like I was going to DIE. We decided to take her home before going about the rest of our business. On the way back to the car, we noticed a bump on her head in the back towards her right side. It wasn't too terrible looking. In fact, it was gone within a few hours. Babies are awesome.

Here's a picture of her later that evening. She is so good-tempered that she allowed us to try on her Easter outfit. This is her in her big-girl tights and shoes, before we put the dress on her:



I'm just so relieved that she's ok. :-)

Thanks, Dishcloth Pal!

A great, big thank-you to my Defeat the Winter Doldrums Dishcloth Swap Pal for the lovely package I received yesterday!! My pal was the fabulous Corinne B. over at Craftyloca! Here's a picture of the contents:


Here are some highlights: First of all, that washcloth is the most gorgeous shade of coral. It matches perfectly with my bathroom!! Also, it's super soft and very large. I can't wait to use it! Corinne also gave me the remainder of the yarn she knit with. I think it might be enough to knit a little scrubbie puff thing! The washcloth was in that beautiful mesh bag you see in the middle of the photo. It's so pretty! Corinne, did you make the bag?

The purple yarn is Plymouth Fantasy Naturale, which is my most favorite cotton yarn EVER! I love this yarn! And I don't have any yarn in that color, so this will be fun to knit with! I love stitch markers, and these are truly beautiful! They look like hand-made, hand-painted glass. The candle smells terrific, too!

In the back underneath the Fantasy Naturale is this cute little "balloon bag!" I can't wait to use it for some of my knitting supplies! I love the bright orange color too.

Thanks so much Corinne! I absolutely adore everything! :-)

To Start Your Day...

Todd, on Frieda Kahlo:

"Once you've seen about six paintings of her cooter with apples, bears, and cats, you've pretty much seen enough."