Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Guilty Pleasures

Come ON. We all have them: those goof-ball songs that we just belt out at the top of our lungs when nobody else is around.

I now present to you my top 10 guilty pleasure songs in order of rising potential embarrassment:


10. She's So Cold, Rolling Stones
favorite lyrics:
"I'm so hot for her
I'm on fire for her
I'm so hot for her and she's so cold
I'm the burning bush!
I'm the burning fire!
I'm the bleeding volcano!"

HAWT.

9. Escalator of Life, Robert Hazard
favorite lyrics:
"Hey, girl! I'm a personal friend of Gloria Vanderbilt.
I got all the gold in the world around my neck.
Come ride the steel dinosaur.
Run wild in the jungle.
It's a Zulu nation!
Seduction,
Sacrifice, a new sensation.
NOTHING EVER CHANGES!"

Bloody brilliant.


8. Mr. Roboto, STYX
favorite lyrics:
"You're wondering who I am:
Machine or mannequin?
With parts made in Japan,
I am the modern man!"

You must pronounce modern as mod-ren for full effect.


7. Mislead, Kool and the Gang
favorite lyrics:
"She's as heavy as a Chevy.
Pure excitement, misled.
When she touches, can't resist her.
I'm a puppet when she's playing.
She's outgoing but I love her so.
Misled."

Aw, yeah!


6. Valley Girl, Frank Zappa
favorite lyrics:
"So, like, I go into this like salon place, y'know?
And I wanted like to get my toenails done.
And the lady like goes, 'oh my God, your toenails are like so GRODY!'
It was like really embarrassing.
She's like 'OH MY GOD, like BAG THOSE TOENAILS!'
I'm like, fer sure...."

Ah, the early 1980s.


5. You Spin Me Like a Record, Dead or Alive
favorite lyrics:
"All I know is that to me
you look like you're lots of fun.
Open up your lovin' arms
Watch out, here I come."

Yeah, tell me you don't secretly love this song too.


4. I Can't Hold Back, Survivor
favorite lyrics:
"I've been holding back the night
I've been searching for a clue from you
I'm gonna try with all my might
To make this story line come true
Can you feel me tremble when we touch?
Can you feel the hand of fate
Reaching out to both of us?
This love affair cant wait

I can't hold back, I'm on the edge
(I cant hold back)
You voice explodes inside my head
I cant hold back, I wont back down
Girl, its too late to turn back now"

God, I love this song. AWESOME.


3. Sister Christian, Night Ranger
favorite lyrics:
"You're motoring.
What's your price for flight?
And finding Mister Right?
You'll be all right tonight."

SWEET


2. Take It On the Run, REO Speedwagon
favorite lyrics:
"You're thinking up your white lies.
You're putting on your bedroom eyes.
You say you're coming home but you won't say when.
But I can feel it coming.
If you leave tonight keep running.
And you need never look back again."

Throws up the horns: \m/


1. Apache, The Sugarhill Gang
favorite lyrics: THE WHOLE DAMN THING.

As guilty as it gets, really.


Yeah, so...I have more than 10, but I don't want you to think I'm a total freak.

So fess up, now; what are YOURS?

1 comment:

the nicole kline experience said...

LOL DYING

i have to think about what mine are. i'll get back to you asap (afag)