Oh My...

How adorable are these?!
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=40907961

And these?
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=42059676

Damn you, etsy!

I Hate It When...

...I do dumb things. Here's the latest and my not-so-greatest:

Part the firste:

Sunday I spent Easter at my parents' house. It was a lovely day and I was in a great mood too. My dad cooked up a storm; and made probably the best roasted chicken I've ever had. He seriously outdid himself.

I brought my pysanky with me to show my parents. Because he's Highlander, my dad is interested in all kinds of creative activities. Naturally, he has a wide variety of paints and shellacs, so I figured I could put the clear coat on it to make it nice and shiny and better preserve the dyes on the egg. He pulled out a water-based clear coat made by Minwax, I think. Awesome, right?

WRONG.

I basically totally destroyed my pysanky. It was too painful to take pictures of it to post here, so suffice it to say that it's...really bad. The clear coat caused all the dye to run and it's now a ruin. I was nearly despondent for the rest of the day. Why didn't I test it on the bottom in an inconspicuous area? Because I'm an idiot. And I was excited about glazin' it all up and just rushed right in. And the thought that a water-based clear coat would re-activate all the dye and cause it to run honestly never occurred to me. Nearly 5 hours of work went down the tubes in 30 seconds. And I really liked how it turned out. Sigh. SO depressing. I guess I'll try it again next year. :-/

DURP DE DUR!


Part the seconde:

So after the food frenzy yesterday, it was back to the yogurt, pretzels, and apple today. Only...I wasn't feeling the pretzels. You know? Of course you do. So I went to the bookstore to seek out a moderatly healthy, point-friendly-yet-tasty snack to consume with the yogurt. That's another thing: I can't just eat yogurt. I absolutely HAVE to have something...else with it. Something crunchy or crispy; something to CHEW.

I stumbled upon something new! A rather large box that had a Fiddle-Faddleish, sweet popcorny kind of thing in it. I winced as I started to read the nutritional information and... it was pretty good! There were 5 individual bags in the box, one serving per bag. Each serving was 120 calories, 2.5 fat and 5 fiber. So only 2 points in my world. DING! I bought the box. It was $3.49.





Here's a picture of the dreaded box of delusions and lies.








I get back up stairs to my office and open the box. "Hrm...," I thought to myself. The bags within were TINY. Like airline-snack-size tiny. You could have put at least twice as many bags that size in the box they were in. I felt the contents of the package from the outside and then said out loud, " Oh, COME ON!" Seriously it felt like there were 3-4 small clusters in the package. I opened it and confirmed my suspicions. I should have put the pieces in a measuring cup (yes, I do actually have a set of measuring cups at work, thank you very much!). I'm positive that it was no more than 1/4 cup of stuff. I was so pissed off. How'd it taste? Well...ok. Basically like Fiddle Faddle but with a cranberry edge to it. So totally NOT worth 2 points. I'm the kind of person that likes to get a lot of "bang for the buck" with my points. And that just totally left me shocked and dismayed. In fact...I remained.

So don't buy it!

Can I Get an Amen?

For those of you who have g-mail accounts, have you ever noticed when you empty your spam folder that Google gives you recipes that include actual Spam (the canned "meat" product) in a clickable link on the top left of the window?

You know what I'm talking about, right?

Are these recipes anything less than the most disgusting concoctions that human-kind could ever come up with? I mean seriously, folks:

Spam Breakfast Burritos (Ok not too bad, I guess.) Potentially offensive to Mexico.

Spam Quiche (Just use real ham, people. Geez.) Offensive to France.

Spam Fajitas (No, thank you) Again, offensive to Mexico.

Spam Primavera (Primavera is Italian for "spring," or "the first green," not repulsive canned meat) Offensive to Italy.

Spicy Spam Kebobs (A thousand times, NO. Ewww) Offensive to India.

Spam Vegetable Streudel (WHAT? I couldn't even bring myself to look at the ingredients.) Offensive to Germany.

Ginger Spam Salad (Ginger...and Spam...together. What is wrong with you people?) Offensive to Southeast Asia.

Vineyard Spam Salad (This sounds particularly wretched to me. Spam, mayo, and grapes are 3 of the ingredients. RETCH.) Offensive to ALL LIVING THINGS.

And now what I think sounds like the MOST unappetizing, stomach-turning, multi-nationally offensive pile of crap:

Spam Imperial Tortilla Sandwiches. Ok people, let's break this down, just on the title alone.

1) Spam: Repulsive, gelatinous, 95% fat "meat" product. "Part of our chemical heritage," as we used to say at a place I once worked. I actually went to the Spam website and there is NO information available on the nutritional label. Gee, I wonder why...?
2) Imperial: So what is it, Chinese now?
3) Tortilla: Oh, so it's Chinese AND Mexican. Got it. Wait...what?
4) Sandwiches: I don't know of any Chinese or Mexican "sandwiches." And do you use the tortillas to make the sandwiches? If so, then it becomes a burrito, or a roll-up, or a wrap. Certainly not a sandwich.

So in just a few recipes, Google managed to offend the cuisines of at least 7 different nations. Way to go!