Showing posts with label health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label health. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Where is Normal

I realize that nobody wants to read posts written by (or heaven forbid listen to) people who are complaining all the time. And I feel like in recent years, well, that's about all I ever do.

In the words of the infinitely wise Joel Hodgson, "What IS right with you??" That's the problem. NOTHING seems right with me. It's just one stupid thing on top of another, compounding my frustration, depression, anxiety, and stress. I am allowing uncontrollable forces affect me in ways that I never thought possible. I've always been the stoic stalwart of stability, patience, and calm. Yeah, not so much lately. And by lately, I mean like 7 years. I just want to be normal again. Where are you, normal? Why have you abandoned me?

Ok so, what's my pain-in-the-ass problem today?

Hair. Or rather, lack thereof.

You know, I never had beautiful hair. Not even nice hair. Ever. I accepted it. Sure, it's curly, which to some people is gorgeous. But honestly, my curls have never been those shiny, luscious ringlets that bounce and cascade down like gleaming satin ribbons. Ppfft. My hair has always been a tangled mess of split ends, knots, and frizz. Since I was able to sit in a chair, my mom had my hair chopped off into a style-less, short, nappy helmet. Shirley Temple, I was not. A sheep maybe.... It was manageable for her and that's all that mattered.

Not until I got into high school did I attempt to consider long(er) hair. I'd always wanted it. But I think years of butchery (by Frank Ruggieri) pretty much ruined my hair, leaving it limp, thin, and lifeless. Growing it long and somewhat healthy was an enormous challenge and I never quite achieved it. As punishment for my 2-year attempt (Sophomore & Junior years), sometime in the early part of Senior year (fall 1989) I got head lice. If you've never had head lice, get on your knees right now and thank whatever deity you believe in that you were spared from this horror. If you have had head lice, but were a child, then you can only minimally understand what effect these little buggers have. If you were like me --- a 17-year-old young woman --- when you got head lice, then you know the mental and emotional strain that existed for the next 15 years of your life. You were panicked beyond all human reason every time you showered, or saw a speck of anything on your shirt, or got an itch on your scalp, or felt a stray hair on your neck or forehead. It was AWESOME.

Aside from a barium enema (also done in high school), having head lice was probably the worst physical experience of my entire life, because the mental and emotional stress that lasted for years post-beasties is truly remarkable. I seriously think I had post-traumatic stress disorder.

I'd noticed as I got into my twenties that my hair, despite looking like a wild, thick, poofy nest, was actually quite thin. The curliness obscured the fact that my hair was neither thick nor healthy. And every year, I notice that it's getting thinner and thinner. Frustrating, sure. But never in all my wildest nightmares did I ever expect what is happening to me right now.

I've been diagnosed with alopecia areata, which is spot baldness. I have a rather large bald spot right at the top of my head toward the front. And by rather large I mean a 2.5-inch diameter circle. Nobody really knows what causes alopecia areata, nor what will cure it (swell). They DO know that's is an auto-immune disorder. Apparently most auto-immune problems are extraordinarily difficult to fix. So my immune system got stupid and started attacking my hair follicles as if they were foreign invaders. Thanks for that, A-I system, really.

I went to the dermatologist in early November and she gave me a steroid cream to put on it. It barely worked. There was a wee bit of regrowth, but not enough to actually fill in the spot. So I went back for a follow-up on December 15. Aaaand now there are TWO spots. Albeit, the second one is much smaller, maybe 1/2 an inch in diameter. But it's in a spot where I can't see it (top and back of my head). Since the cream was only marginally effective, she gave me several injections of steroids right into my scalp in both bald spots. I have to see her again on January 12. I've been trying to be optimistic, I really have. But it's just been so depressing to look in the mirror for many reasons, and this diagnosis was the straw that broke the camel's back.

It is likely that I got this because other people in my family have/had auto-immune issues. Well that's certainly true. Both my grandmothers had rheumatoid arthritis, my sister had chronic fatigue and adrenal failure, my mom has eczema, and my aunt has a thyroid problem. I'm batting 1000 here. Another factor is STRESS. Many people who are predisposed to auto-immune disorders (raises hand) will experience some kind of auto-immune response to prolonged stress. (There's that pesky word again.) So my sister got chronic fatigue, I got bald. AWESOMESAUCE.

I've been tested several times for a thyroid problem and every time I come back "in range" for acceptable thyroid function. I'm not convinced because I have about 13 of the 15 possible symptoms for Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. Can it really be a coincidence? But I digress.

Ok so, if stress is a catalyst for auto-immune problems, and indeed I AM stressed about a great many things, then when will I ever get better? The answer is NEVER. This hair problem is stressing me out to the ends of my sanity. How can I NOT be stressed? It's impossible. With everything going on in my life, especially in recent years, my stress levels must be off the charts. There is no way for me to control this. Short of hitting a multi-million-dollar lottery, which would solve a multitude of problems, there is little that I can do to lower my stress levels or avoid stressful situations. (Believe me, money CAN buy happiness.) My whole existence is one stressful situation into another.

So, wait, there's MORE awesome to this tale!

Yeah, remember when I mentioned that I noticed that my hair has been getting thinner and thinner over the years? I didn't imagine that. The dermatologist noticed it too. So in addition to the alopecia areata, I have androgenic alopecia as well. I am losing my hair ALTOGETHER! Can I tell you how fabulous this makes me feel? You know, karma, if you're going to give me a condition that predominately affects men, then why not give me the other perks that are associated with increased testosterone: better muscle tone, and a sex drive. No, of course not. Welcome to the rest of your life, Gina --- a life of Rogaine and fatigue, anxiety and bitterness.

And I'm supposed to NOT be stressed?

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Update

So it's been two weeks since I've started watching my refined-sugar intake. I'm happy to report that I'm feeling better than I have in a long time. Most notably:

1- I sleep at night. When I go to bed, I fall asleep in 10-15 minutes and I don't get up until the morning. (Although once or twice I woke up with a cough and went to get a drink of water. Sometimes the A/C or ceiling fan will dry my throat out and cause me to cough.) The last several mornings I've been waking up before the alarm, too.

2- As a corollary to the above, I feel more comfortable in the bed. My hips, knees, ankles, elbows, and shoulders all seem to hurt a lot less. I can actually lay on my side and rest my knees against each other without feeling like I just hammered into an invisible bruise. I feel more comfortable sitting on the couch or in the recliner.

3- Swelling in my hands and fatigue in my limbs is also less noticeable. I get less tired during the day or from doing every-day tasks (like unloading the dishwasher).

4- I've been eating something for breakfast every morning, always within an hour of waking, and at least 11 out of the 14 mornings I was actually hungry.

5- Not eating the sugar has caused me to make better choices overall with food. So I haven't been over-indulging. I have had a few minor cravings (which I think are actually more like impulses than actual cravings) but usually, a drink of water or tea kicks that in the butt. I'd also like to mention that I honestly don't feel deprived either. I recall in the past when I've tried to get back on the weight-loss wagon that I would adopt this sort-of martyr persona. Maybe it's because my primary goal isn't weight loss and I am feeling better already, but I don't feel like some kind of freak who "can't eat like a normal person."

6- My skin, which never really had a "problem," per se, looks and feels better. My face definitely feels smoother and I have way fewer weird dry patches. I feel like my skin looks brighter. I also have a little brown spot on my right cheek. It's been there for at least 7 years. At first, it was about the size of a corn flake and very light. I did have a dermatologist look at it and it's Melasma, which is fairly common among women who have taken any hormone-related drugs, including birth control. It's gotten a lot smaller (more like a rice crispie), but also more concentrated in color in recent years. I swear on my yarn stash that it seems to be smaller and less concentrated than it was 2 weeks ago.

7- My general mood has improved, despite some rather stressful occurrences in my life at the moment (i.e., my crazy, red-neck, next-door neighbors and having an employee resign from her job in the middle of a huge project). I feel less likely to despair and whine about things that used to cause me great agitation.

8- My pants are looser and my bra feels just a little less squeezey around my upper torso. I didn't put myself on the scale when I started, but I would venture a guess that I've lost somewhere around 5-6 pounds.

9- The night sweating has, indeed, stopped. I have also nearly completely recovered from the flu/cold symptoms I had last week. I have been a little sneezey but I do think that is a real allergy issue that I have (thanks, Delaware).

All in all, I feel better and feeling better is super encouraging to want to keep moving forward. Granted, I'm not perfect. And I'm sure there's something I'm eating that probably isn't great for me. (Picked beets? Anyone know if this is a bad food to consume? I had a slice of pizza for lunch, too.) But at least it's not cookies or cupcakes or Butterfingers.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Human Experiment

As many of you who know me have come to learn, I have some mysterious health issues. Nothing serious --- at least I don't think so. But ever since I entered my thirties, I've noticed a major decline in my health. I can't really pin-point it with great specificity, but I can say that
ever since I had my gallbladder removed in April 2003, it's been a massive struggle for me.

It's easy for me to blame that laparoscopic cholecystectomy on everything. Hey, let's blame that for the BP oil spill too. Why not? Every malady I've had since April 2003 I've attributed to that tiny, missing organ. But what I'm just starting to realize is that the blame lies with me. I've basically punished my body ever since I was a kid, either by overeating, or eating ridiculous things, or not exercising, or a combination of all of those. And now it's payback time. My entire body is going Jean-Claude Van Damme on me.

I recall being in 6th grade, staying up late at night to watch David Letterman (yes, I was a weird kid and probably the only 11-year old that crept out of bed to watch Letterman). During the commercials, I'd comb through the kitchen looking for snacks. I ate everything from cookies, to Tastycakes, to pepperoni, to Bisquick (yes, I'd eat this out of the box --- I hang my head in shame), to bread with mayo on it, to cereal...you get the idea. Other times, I'd be playing Atari 2600 while devouring an entire bag of cheese curls while washing it down with Frank's pineapple soda. When I hit age 15, my gastrointestinal system revolted on an epic scale. Gee, I wonder why? I spent most of my high-school years getting upper and lower GIs, barium enemas (the worst physical test that a human being can ever experience), ultrasounds, etc. I lived in fear of stomach distress and spent most of the time in the house. When I did manage enough courage to go out, I carried Kaopectate, Tums, Maalox, Donnagel, and Pepto Bismal in my bag without fail. I was a walking pharmacy. There was a time when I knew the location of nearly every public rest room in center city Philadelphia and the surrounding areas. How sad is that?

Is it any real surprise that I had to have my gallbladder removed or that I have peculiar health problems today?

In the last 4 years or so, I've noticed other issues creeping up that I never experienced before, such as fatigue, joint pain, swelling, hair loss, depression, weakness, back pain, insomnia, and migraines, severe allergies, and tonsillitis, to name a few. I had lost about 60 pounds between January 1999 and August 2000, which I kept off for about 4 years, but now have pretty much all gained back, as of today. Aside from being mentally & emotionally distressing, this added weight exacerbates many of the physical problems I mentioned. I'm nearing 40 and I need to figure out what's wrong with me asap. Not that 40 is ancient --- I certainly don't think any ostensibly normal, "healthy" 40-year old should feel as rotten as I do --- but it's not 21 either. I need a better, more healthful approach to the last half of my life.

All that being said, I've been playing detective with food over the last few weeks. Summertime is always bad for me. Actually, once May rolls around, it's very difficult for me to eat well. Between May & December life becomes a never-ending stream of birthdays, anniversaries, vacations, holidays, work functions, family visits, etc. But for some reason, this summer has been a little epiphany. Never have I been more acutely aware of the amount of sugar that goes into my body. It's scary and a little disgusting. I started noticing that I was feeling exceptionally BAD a few weeks ago. And then I realized that the amount of sugar that I consumed during that time period was off the charts. I sensed a correlation.Now when I say sugar, I mean sugar or corn syrup, etc. I don't mean fruit or bread or pasta. Reading nutrition labels and scouring ingredient lists on packaged foods was something I used to do regularly, back in my Weight Watcher's days. It's really disheartening to see that a 6-ounce cup of YoPlait light yogurt has 15 grams of sugar in it. HOW? It's just a little cup of yogurt for criminy's sake! I just looked on the American Heart Association's website for information on the recommended amount of added sugar that a normal, adult female should be eating per day:

"The American Heart Association recommends limiting the amount of added sugars you consume to no more than half of your daily discretionary calories allowance. For most American women, that’s no more than 100 calories per day, or about 6 teaspoons of sugar [which is about 25 grams]. "

Uh...yeah. I've been eating like 4x this much sugar a day, at least. Usually I would eat a breakfast bar around 10:00 am (which has 11 grams of sugar) coupled with a 12 oz cup of coffee. Then lunch was yogurt and a granola bar with fruit. Well the yogurt has 15 grams of sugar and the granola bar I usually eat has 12. Then at about 2:30-3:00 I was starving and wanted to snack on something. So I'd eat either a couple mini York Peppermint Patties (like 2 or 3) or another granola bar type thing. So each of the mini Peppermint Patties has 9 grams of sugar. Eating 2 means 18 grams of sugar. That is insane. Then dinner was whatever I could find in the house or we order something out (another awful habit I'm trying to break). This is a lot of sugar to eat during the day (added up it totals 56 grams) and that's not even including dinner. But if you think that's bad, the REAL problem is after dinner. I feel like my dinner never satisfies me. So I end up snacking a lot between 6:30 and 10:00 pm. Mostly stupid, bad crap like cookies or chocolate-covered raisins (half a box of Raisinets has 27 grams of sugar) or a Smart Ones dessert cup (I linked my favorite one) or sometimes ALL of those things and even more. So that by the time I am hitting the pillow at night I've consumed at least 100 grams of sugar --- added, white, non-naturally occurring sugar --- in any given day, probably well over. This kind of reckless eating is taking its toll on my aging body. So I decided a week ago to stop eating this kind of sugar. I'm not going all NO-CARB and I won't ever do that. I don't think I'll even stop eating pasta or corn or white breads (although I will probably make better choices). At least for now, I am just cutting out foods that have too much refined sugar in them.

I read a lot online about sugar sensitivity and addiction. And I fall into both categories. One very eye-opening thing I read was that eating too much sugar causes your body to go into "starvation mode" overnight. The sugar elicits a brain response similar to that of a person going through a time of physical stress, such as starvation. It gives a false sense of security and well-being. (The extreme of this feeling is what happens to people at the end of their lives, especially if they die during a trauma. I'm sure you've heard of people who have "near death" experiences reporting feeling a calm, peaceful presence or warmth.) Anyway, as a result of excessive sugar consumption, people with sugar addiction almost never eat breakfast. In fact, the thought of eating first thing in the morning seems repulsive. So they don't eat. Then by 10:30 am they crash and grab the first thing they can, usually something sweet because it starts giving that false sense of security. And the cycle continues. This is me, 100%.

Since cutting sugar, I've woken up the last 3 days HUNGRY and wanting to eat. In fact, I woke up on Tuesday feeling almost ravenously hungry. I've been told by a nutritionist and I've read from several sources that one should eat within an hour of waking and that it should be a protein and a complex carbohydrate. So I've been eating a hard-boiled egg and a banana over the last couple of mornings. I must say that I feel good until nearly lunchtime, which is a huge switch for me. I've been much less inclined to want to eat sweet things and I feel satisfied with meals in general. I've been sleeping more soundly and waking feeling rested. I generally feel less fatigued and my joints seem to hurt less. All in all, positive things! And it's only been about a week.

Now the downside...

I am going through some withdrawal symptoms. For instance, I woke up not only hungry the last couple of days, but also soaking wet with sweat. Seriously, I have been sweating like a pig. I hope that ends soon. I also had what felt like flu symptoms on Monday: seriously bad chills, fever, body aches, sore throat. They have subsided, and I now have sinus congestion and sneezing. My histamines have kicked in and are fighting a perceived threat. I read that this was a common symptom of sugar withdrawal. Sugar can really affect your immune system in a bad way, especially if you're like me and have a sensitivity to it. This could be why I've seemed to be prone to an abnormally high number of sinus and throat infections over the last 3-4 years.

I can't believe it's taken me years and years to figure this out. How dense can a person be?

Ok so what HAVE I been eating? Well, surprisingly, I'm eating less food overall, yet feeling more satisfied. As I mentioned, I've been eating a hard-boiled egg and a piece of fruit nearly every morning. Over the last weekend I ate mini shredded wheat with almond milk** and slices of banana. Lunch has been hummus and whole-wheat pita with either carrots or grape tomatoes and a piece of fruit, sometimes a few slices of a light cheese as well OR tuna on stone-ground wheat crackers with the carrots &/or tomatoes and fruit. Dinner is a little more challenging for me. Last night I ate cheese ravioli with just olive oil and basil as the sauce. It was actually very tasty. Other nights I've made eggs, or pierogies, or have had fish with brown rice or I've eaten the hummus with pita combo. Dinner is accompanied by a vegetable and usually a piece of fruit afterward. I have to say honestly, I haven't felt really "snacky" in the evenings lately. But the few times I have felt little peckish I've eaten fruit, or crackers with cheese or a little butter on them, or a few pretzels, or a few almonds & cashews (nuts sometimes wreak havoc on my skin, so I try to avoid them, usually). Earlier in my experiment, I made wheat toast with some sugar-free strawberry preserves on them. But now, I really don't crave that level of sweetness.
I'm usually drinking water or hot tea (love me some peppermint or chamomile). I may have had a glass of Diet Coke once or twice. Astonishingly, I seemed to have also been able to put my caffeine addiction behind me. I haven't had or wanted a cup of coffee in over a week.

In my online research over the last several days, I stumbled across the following advertisements for sugar, brought to you by Sugar Information, Inc. How crazy are these?:

WHAAAAT? So sugar causes one to UNDEReat? Uh huh. And it's a good idea to eat a sugary and probably fatty ice-cream cone so that you won't eat your normal mealtime food, which might actually have some nutritional value? Sure.

And this one....
The "Note to Mothers:" at the bottom right reads:
Exhaustion may be dangerous -- especially to children who haven't learned to avoid it by pacing themselves. Exhaustion opens the door a little wider to the bugs and ailments that are always lying in wait. Sugar puts back energy fast -- offsets exhaustion. Synthetic sweeteners put back nothing. Energy is the first requirement of life. Play safe with your young ones -- make sure they get sugar every day.

Make sure they get sugar every day??? Welcome to 1966.

Or how about this delightful ad from the Soda Pop Board of America?

My mind is officially blown.


** A note about almond milk: I adore it. I went to a nutritionist --- very briefly--- a few years ago and she suggested unsweetened almond milk as a good cow-milk substitute for me. I asked about soy milk, since that's what everyone seems to drink as a cow-milk substitute. She mentioned that for what I was experiencing in my body, soy could actually aggravate it and make it worse. I already have higher levels of estrogen than most women, so soy was not a good choice for me. I continue using the almond milk because I think it tastes awesome. It's also very low fat and low calorie too. This is the one I use. I highly recommend it for folks who have sensitivity to dairy and who may not like the taste of soy.