Can Someone PLEASE Contact Me, Or Do I Have To Choke A Bitch?

I mean really, people. I don't know about everyone else, but I have had THE ABSOLUTE WORST customer service in the last month than I have ever had in my entire life. Seriously.

I ordered a Christmas gift for someone back on November 29th from a place called hookmeuphometheater.com. Maybe that was my first mistake: trusting a webstore with a retarded name like that. Anyway, they had the best price and best shipping price for this item. They are also, allegedly, a member of the Better Business Bureau (who ROCKS harder than AC/DC, because they settled a 8-month dispute that I had with Home Depot, lickety-split. I will eventually post about this too. It's just that the wounds are still too fresh....).

Well, the item, according to the website, was "in-stock." I ordered it. About a week or so later, I realized that I hadn't received any communication from them confirming my order or telling me that they are going to ship it, etc. So I checked the order status webpage on their site.

SIGH

The order was there. They charged my credit card. But the status of the item had been changed to "back-order." Now, dear reader, I ask you: WHEN WERE THEY GOING TO TELL ME THIS? The answer? Probably never. To add insult to injury, the actual item STILL had "in-stock" next to its title. WTF? I managed to contain my rage long enough to type out this fairly coherent e-mail:

Hello:

I placed order #3691 for "such-and-such item" on November 29th.  According to your
website at the time I placed the order, this item was in-stock. Because I have not
heard from you about this order and it's been NINE days, I have just checked your
website to view my order status and it says that the item I ordered is on 
backorder, with the date "12/06/2006" underneath it (but it also STILL says
"in-stock" next to the item title)!  This is unacceptable.  I would not have
placed the order if I was told upfront that the item was out of stock and on 
backorder.

It is now December 8th.  Do you or do you not have this item in stock?  If not, I
cannot wait any longer for it and would like to cancel my order. If you do have it
in stock, I expect that it will be shipped IMMEDIATELY and can you please tell me
when I can expect to receive it?

Gina Waters

No response. Nada. The rage is now setting fire to my intestines. I wait all weekend. Nothing. Monday morning comes and I decide to call them. Of course, nobody is there to take the call because they are in freakin' California and it's like 8:00 am here in Philly. So I leave a message. Firm and concerned, but calm. ZILCHO. No call; no e-mail. I am totally incensed now. So yesterday, I sent them yet another e-mail:

Hello:

I am writing again regarding my order #3691.  I have not heard from you about the
status of this order, despite having asked you twice.  I telephoned yesterday and
received no response.  Below is an e-mail I sent on Friday, to which I also did not
receive a response.

Can someone please acknowledge that I exist and respond to me regarding this order?

Gina Waters

Can you guess what the response was? DING! That's right! NO RESPONSE AT ALL! I am so incredibly angry that I am like crawling out of my skin. I can't even explain it. I just...I mean...it's like...just watch this and you'll know:

Yeah. So, I am going to wait until 1:00 or so to call them, again.

I am having a similar problem with ANOTHER website --- this time a comic-book place --- about 2 orders that I placed on the 11th of December. The place is Westfieldcomics.com. They have THE most confusing webpage and ordering system I have ever encountered. So confusing that I ended up having to place 2 separate orders instead of one, thus getting charged $6.95 for shipping two times. I called them yesterday just to discuss the orders because I am so freakin' confused that I don't know if they got one of the two orders and when either of them will ship or if it's even it stock or what. It's all kinds of fucked up. So, anyway, I called yesterday evening and left a message with a woman named "Mary." No response. WTF is wrong with people? These people are in Michigan, I think. So, I will call them again at lunchtime, too.

Ok, I realize that it's the Christmas gift-giving season. Things are hectic for everyone. But Jesus Tapdancing Christ, this is ridiculous.

Oh, I See. So It's MY Fault Now?

I have an e-mail account with a place called Cashette. The idea behind it is very good: you won't get any spam in your inbox unless the sender pays you an amount that you set in advance. So if you set it at $.25, then that means that any spammer would have to pay you $.25 to have their e-mail make it to your inbox. I don't know how this works, or how the money is exchanged, but what I do know is that it DOES keep spam out of my inbox. This is a good thing.

However, Cashette often has problems. The server is often down or can't be found. Sometimes I can't move messages from one folder to another. Sending attachments is damn near impossible. The reply-to option is wonky, at best. Et cetera. This is a bad thing.

Today, I tried to log on and I got this message:

Internal Server Error

The server encountered an internal error or misconfiguration and was unable to complete your request.

Please contact the server administrator, postmaster@cashette.com and inform them of the time the error occurred, and anything you might have done that may have caused the error.

More information about this error may be available in the server error log.

---

Apache/2.0.43 Server at www.cashette.com Port 80

Ok, so, wait. Let me read that second sentence again: "Please contact the server administrator, postmaster@cashette.com and inform them of the time the error occurred, and anything you might have done that may have caused the error."

Excuse me? "Anything you might have done that may have caused the error?" You know what, Cashette? GO TO HELL! Do not blame ME for your crappy server. Geez.

It Came From the Internet

Ok here's a segment I like to call, "It Came From the Internet!"

How's this for pointless? Battery Operated Pencil Eraser

So if you are really lazy--- and I mean REALLY lazy---so lazy that you absolutely just cannot muster the strength to move your hand and/or wrist back and forth a few times, then this is the item for you.

You know, even if you were erasing, say, an entire 8 1/2" X 11" piece of paper's worth of your errant graphite markings, this item STILL would be pointless. Look how small the actual eraser part is! The product's description claims that this is "easy on your wrists." No, no, no. A thousand times, no. Holding that plastic casing (which has been made fairly heavy because of the 2 AAA batteries inside it) in position while the thing is vibrating is actually "hard on your wrists." If they want to make a claim that this is "easy on your wrists," then I better see a link to the independent ergonomic testing firm's results.

Look, if you find yourself in need of a damn fine eraser, then do yourself a favor and get Sanford's Magic Rub.