Thursday, August 23, 2007

Addendum: The Waters Lexicon

I must add the following items to the Waters Lexicon:

Walk it off. Either handed down from Todd's dad, or uttered by someone during Todd's high-school years while in mandatory athletics.
(v.) the action of self recovery from an injury. ANY injury. Even one where walking would not result in the slightest amelioration of the pain. Consider the following dialog:
Me: Ouch! Shit!
Todd: What did you do?
Me: Squirted lemon juice into my eye!
Todd: Just walk it off.

Knock the bark off your teeth. Directly from Todd's dad. It's probably obvious but...
(v.) To brush one's teeth. Make sure y'all knock the bark off your teeth before coming down to breakfast!

How come? Todd says this all the time, most often when asking in response to an answer that he a) doesn't like, b) wasn't expecting, or c) confuses him.
Replacement for the interrogative pronoun: Why. Example:
Todd: When are you going to go visit your sister?
Me: Well, I've decided not to go at all.
Todd: How come?


Appendix:

Also I would like to add the following items, which are more like self-explanatory phrases or just generally hilarious quotes from Todd:

"The best part of waking up, is going back to bed." To be sung to the Folger's coffee jingle.

"Once I get to sittin', I like to stay sat."

"Bacon makes everything better."

"Oh, that's a CLASSIC." Yeah, pretty much every movie that Todd's ever seen in the 1980s or 1990s that I haven't qualifies it as being "a classic." This also applies to music. Example:
Todd: What?! You've never seen The Goonies?
Me: Um...no.
Todd: Oh, come on! That's a CLASSIC!

"I'm about to shit sideways!"
Uttered in extreme frustration, usually while trying to put together Ikea furniture.

"Gimme some good quotes." Todd always asks me this after I return from visiting with my family or with friends.

"Rockin' with Dokken." Basically means "cool" or "awesome."

Fast food code names:
The evil red-headed woman = Wendy's
The evil red-headed man = McDonald's
The colonel or the evil goateed man = KFC
Mexican roll up = Taco Bell

2 comments:

Katie J said...

I think you could do a whole blog just on Toddisms. Fabulous. By the way, we totally used "how come" in my town. And that is the "bxsjt".

Marsha said...

So if you're in the mood to get some good at Taco Bell, do you "roll up to the Mexican roll up"?