Reluctantly, This Is How Weird I Am

As if anyone needed further proof as to how weird I am! Marsha "tagged" me to do this on my blog, so here it is:

Six Weird Things About Me (in no particular order)

1) I have a huge --- and I mean HUGE --- birthmark on my left hip, which extends around my back and down my left thigh.

2) I have seen nearly every movie that Jean Claude Van Damme has starred in, except for the most recent ones (I think there are 2) and that gay pseudo-porn foreign one he did in 1984 (Monaco Forever).

3) When I was in 6th grade, I landed the part of "July" in the Neumann Players' production of Annie. The Neumann Players was a local musical-theatre group that showcased local talent. They were called such because they were founded or supported or both by the PTA of St. John Neumann High School down in South Philly. I don't even know if they exist any more.

4) I can't ride a bike, or roller skate, or skateboard, or ski, or surf, or swim, etc. (No, really, I CAN'T swim AT ALL. Some people say they "can't swim," meaning that they can doggie paddle and/or keep afloat. No, I SERIOUSLY SINK LIKE AN ANCHOR. I am terrified of the water.) I pretty much can't do anything. I am the least athletic and most uncoordinated person I know! :-P

5) I loathe, abominate, and despise Indian Food. The smell of curry nearly makes me convulse. Blech!

6) I don't know if this is "weird," but it certainly is unusual for someone my age: I have never broken any bones ever --- not that I am complaining. Well, at least I have never had a confirmed breakage of bone. I suspect that I might have broken my little toe on my right foot when I was a junior in high school. But I never went to a doctor or had an x-ray to confirm that.

Ok so how's that? That weird enough for you? :-P

Another Project Finished

And it's not knitting!

A few months ago, my parents bought a painting from JC Penny's catalog to hang in their living room. They bought it primarily because they absolutely loved the frame: mildy Rococco, distressed gold leaf, in an unusual shape. The "artwork" inside the frame, well, left a lot to be desired. It's one of those "paintings" that is mass produced somewhere overseas. Some poor dude in a sweatshop somewhere probably knocks out 50 of these a day. That says a lot about the "art" inside the frame. Anyway, the painting was supposed to be a depiction of Tuscany. Well, about the only thing about the picture that even remotely suggested Tuscany was the presence of three of those tall, skinny cypress trees that are common to Tuscan lanscapes. That's it.

Here's the painting. Now, from a distance, everything seems acceptable. But as you look at it, and if you click on it and get a bigger image, you will start to notice some odd stuff. Maybe you don't even know how to explain it, but you just know it's not right somehow.


The rather dull horizon notwithstanding, the first thing that I noticed was the odd, little, red "building" back there. What the crap is it? And why is it floating in the trees, which also happen to look like underripe broccoli florets? Is it Cloud City? Does Lando Calrissian live there? No? Then the structure has to have a base ON THE GROUND. This bugged me the most. I was also annoyed by the vague position of the sun. It's casting shadows in all kinds of directions, none of which are consistent. Pick a light source, people.

My mom was most annoyed by the colors, or rather, lack of colors. She said, "Yeah, the house, sure, but also, why is everything yellow and olive green?" She has a real point there. I've never been to Tuscany but my in-laws have and my dear, dear late friend Kathleen went there a couple of years ago and I saw plenty 'o pictures between the three of them. Tuscany does not look like it's in the throes of a nuclear winter. It's breathtaking.

My dad was practically crawling out of his skin over the picket fence. "There are no picket fences like that in Italy!" Well, I don't know about none in all of Italy, but there certainly are no fences in any of the landscapes of Tuscany that I've seen. Also, and rightly so, my dad was annoyed that the fence had no real change in size, even though it was obviously meant to move back in perspective from the foreground to the horizon line.

Sigh, what to do? So my parents asked me if I could "doctor it up." You know, just get rid of the fence, fix the house, give it a little more color, etc. Um...ok. This is impossible. My only
recourse was this:


Do over. So over the course of the last two or three weeks, I worked on a completely new painting a little at a time. My dad went out and bought a set of acrylic paints for me to use. They were pretty nice to use. Oils are a pain in the butt. I was worried about doing this because I am out of practice, artistically. The last time I undertook a major art piece I was in college, so we're talking like 1992.

Well, I finished it tonight. Now, I am sure it has plenty of errors in it. Look, I 'aint Bierstadt, ok? But I do think that it looks a lot better than the yellowy-green ode to the mutant broccoli that emerged after the nuclear holocaust on Cloud City. Personally, I like the poppies. I think those turned out great. Here is my painting:



I'm sure my dad will find some sort of problem with it. He always does that. He'll be like "Hmm...how about you put in another tree over there?" My mom will flip her lid. I think she'll be very happy. My mom is like that. If one of her children does anything, makes something, cooks something etc., and no matter how dreadful it is, she loves it.

So I am off the rest of the week until Friday! WOO! I will bring this painting over to them tomorrow morning after I drop Todd off at work.

My Secret Pal ROCKS!

I had the most wonderful package of goodies from my Secret Pal waiting for me when I got home form work today! What a nice way to end the work week!

First, let me say that I absolutely LOVE everything! Also, it must be said how intuitive my Secret Pal s about goody-buying for me. In fact, I was almost crying because some of the items in there we just so very thoughtful! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

I took a bunch of pictures so here they are:

Here are all the items (A LOT OF THEM) all individually wrapped in the box:



I loved how the little packages had words and phrases written on them! It's such a cool idea. I'll have to use it for my spoilee! Incidentally, my Secret Pal sends me the cutest, most unique e-cards too!

secondc


So now for the unwrapped contents:



Yeah, see?? I told you it was A LOT! :-) There are 2 snowmen picture frames, Lindor dark chocolate truffle mini balls, Lemongrass and Olive soap and bath salts, a pack of Pirates of the South China Seas cards, a box of "Mack" toffee, a booklet with the cutest mitten patterns, 3 skeins of 100% merino wool in a lovely sage green color, and attached to the card is a pin of stitch markers!

Now for some closeups!

Here are the Lindor mini truffle balls. Oh my DOG, these are soooo gooood. I ate a couple tonight after dinner. I have never heard of "Mack" candy but I loved the box and I love toffee. So I am sure that I will enjoy it. I just had visions of Sean Connery taking a bite of some "Mack" toffee....Aren't the picture frames super cute? I have no idea how my Secret Pal knew this, but I absolutely ADORE snowmen. The decorations in my house are largely comprised of snowmen!



As soon as I opened the box, I was greeted with the most wonderful fragrance. It was the Olive and Lemongrass soap and bath salts. (Don'tcha just love the little scoop too?) They were in the fabric pouch that I have underneath the objects in the picture. Oh what a wonderful smell. So gentle and natural I started to get teary-eyed because it was just so perfect for me. Then I opened the Pirate cards, which I mentioned on my SP9 questionnaire as something I collect. And I just got all weepy because that's just such a sweet thing to do!

Now for the last picture of goodies:

So here's the booklet of mitten patterns called "Smitten," by Mission Falls. They are SO CUTE. I hope to attempt them someday! Maybe this can be the Christmas present net year for all the kids I know! They really are sweet patterns. And you can see the blue millefiore glass stitch-markers attached in the card. I love them. I never seem to have enough stitch markers! The yarn is absolutely, incredibly, gorgeous. It's so supple and buttery soft. NO itchyness whatsoever. I stroked it against my face over and over; it felt like fluffy silk! It's made by the same company that did the mitten booklet! I can't wait to use it!

Thank you so much, Secret Pal! Your gifts and thoughtfulness are very appreciated! :-)

Dying From The Absolute Coolness

Ok so, real quick...Nicole just showed me the text emote for "throw up the horns!" Ready?

\m/

How freakin' cool is that?!?!? Could you just DIE? I am like dying over here.

Before I Forget Again...

I never put up my favorite pictures from Vermont. So here they are. These were all taken at a state park with lots of nature trails. It was the Groton State Forest, I think. Marsha probably can confirm that; she remembers everything. I, on the other hand, would forget my big, dumb head if it weren't permanently attached to my neck....

I plan on selecting three of these and blowing them up large to frame and put on my living-room wall. I'm just not sure which three to use, and if I should make them black& white or do some funky photo effects on them to alter the colors or exposure, etc. I think I want them all to be in portrait direction (rather than landscape). So that narrows it down a little. Anyway, enjoy.

an an


and0


anad


a 8


ad9g


a dad

Can Someone PLEASE Contact Me, Or Do I Have To Choke A Bitch?

I mean really, people. I don't know about everyone else, but I have had THE ABSOLUTE WORST customer service in the last month than I have ever had in my entire life. Seriously.

I ordered a Christmas gift for someone back on November 29th from a place called hookmeuphometheater.com. Maybe that was my first mistake: trusting a webstore with a retarded name like that. Anyway, they had the best price and best shipping price for this item. They are also, allegedly, a member of the Better Business Bureau (who ROCKS harder than AC/DC, because they settled a 8-month dispute that I had with Home Depot, lickety-split. I will eventually post about this too. It's just that the wounds are still too fresh....).

Well, the item, according to the website, was "in-stock." I ordered it. About a week or so later, I realized that I hadn't received any communication from them confirming my order or telling me that they are going to ship it, etc. So I checked the order status webpage on their site.

SIGH

The order was there. They charged my credit card. But the status of the item had been changed to "back-order." Now, dear reader, I ask you: WHEN WERE THEY GOING TO TELL ME THIS? The answer? Probably never. To add insult to injury, the actual item STILL had "in-stock" next to its title. WTF? I managed to contain my rage long enough to type out this fairly coherent e-mail:

Hello:

I placed order #3691 for "such-and-such item" on November 29th.  According to your
website at the time I placed the order, this item was in-stock. Because I have not
heard from you about this order and it's been NINE days, I have just checked your
website to view my order status and it says that the item I ordered is on 
backorder, with the date "12/06/2006" underneath it (but it also STILL says
"in-stock" next to the item title)!  This is unacceptable.  I would not have
placed the order if I was told upfront that the item was out of stock and on 
backorder.

It is now December 8th.  Do you or do you not have this item in stock?  If not, I
cannot wait any longer for it and would like to cancel my order. If you do have it
in stock, I expect that it will be shipped IMMEDIATELY and can you please tell me
when I can expect to receive it?

Gina Waters

No response. Nada. The rage is now setting fire to my intestines. I wait all weekend. Nothing. Monday morning comes and I decide to call them. Of course, nobody is there to take the call because they are in freakin' California and it's like 8:00 am here in Philly. So I leave a message. Firm and concerned, but calm. ZILCHO. No call; no e-mail. I am totally incensed now. So yesterday, I sent them yet another e-mail:

Hello:

I am writing again regarding my order #3691.  I have not heard from you about the
status of this order, despite having asked you twice.  I telephoned yesterday and
received no response.  Below is an e-mail I sent on Friday, to which I also did not
receive a response.

Can someone please acknowledge that I exist and respond to me regarding this order?

Gina Waters

Can you guess what the response was? DING! That's right! NO RESPONSE AT ALL! I am so incredibly angry that I am like crawling out of my skin. I can't even explain it. I just...I mean...it's like...just watch this and you'll know:

Yeah. So, I am going to wait until 1:00 or so to call them, again.

I am having a similar problem with ANOTHER website --- this time a comic-book place --- about 2 orders that I placed on the 11th of December. The place is Westfieldcomics.com. They have THE most confusing webpage and ordering system I have ever encountered. So confusing that I ended up having to place 2 separate orders instead of one, thus getting charged $6.95 for shipping two times. I called them yesterday just to discuss the orders because I am so freakin' confused that I don't know if they got one of the two orders and when either of them will ship or if it's even it stock or what. It's all kinds of fucked up. So, anyway, I called yesterday evening and left a message with a woman named "Mary." No response. WTF is wrong with people? These people are in Michigan, I think. So, I will call them again at lunchtime, too.

Ok, I realize that it's the Christmas gift-giving season. Things are hectic for everyone. But Jesus Tapdancing Christ, this is ridiculous.

Christmas Knitting...Almost There!

Ok so I've mentioned in a few previous posts that I am making a bunch o' scarves as Christmas gifts for four young girls and a little boy that are the children (and one neice) of two of my friends. Ouch, that hurt my brains.

So, anyway, here are the three scarves for the three daughters of my friend, Dana:

The ivory pastel one is for her youngest, who I think is 4-5. This was done using a ball and a half of Lion Watercolors in Shell and a skein of some random, light-purple, fuzzy eyelash yarn that I got in the $1 bin at Target. The pink in the middle is for her middle daughter who is 6-7. That is done with about 1/2 a skein of Patons Divine in Floral Fantasy (which is actually really nice yarn to work with) and one skein of Patons Carmen in Rose. And the purplish one on the right is for her oldest girl, who is 9 or close to it. That is done with 1 skein of Bernat Boa in Toucan and about 1/2 a skein of Joann's Sensations Angel Hair in medium purple.

I am also making another one of those purplish, feathery ones for my friend Julie's neice, who is also around 9. That scarf is about 1/4 done. I have to finish it by this coming Sunday. I think I will be able to do it without a problem.

Now for Julie's son, who is 3, I made a hat and I am about 1/3 done a matching scarf:

I am using 2 strands together of Lion Brand Homespun in Williamsburg Blue and the red parts are 2 strands together of the last, sad remnants of Lion Brand Kool Wool that I have in my possession. Sniff, sniff. I loved that yarn. So super easy to work with. Sigh. Anyway, I finally am doing a ribbed scarf. And it actually looks halfway decent. I like these colors together, too!



So that's my progress and what's been taking up most of my time. Oh, but I did manage to finish another Moebius scarf. Actually, as I was sitting in the dining room at my laptop checking e-mail earlier, I noticed Titus go trotting across the living room carrying it in his jaws. Nice.


















Now I still need to finish that Mason-Dixon Washrag. And I want to start up on that rug for the bathroom. And I want to do my first cabling project, too. Too much to do and so little time! RAGE!

It's A Cry For Help, Really

So...um...yeah...I kinda went ahead and sorta bought more yarn today. Yup.

My most favorite yarn seller on e-bay, Roxy's Yarns, just has too damn many good deals.

This is what I got:

Two balls of Plymouth Baby Alpaca Brush in light blue. I thought maybe I could make a very soft, skinny, cable scarf with this.











Two skeins of Plymouth Fantasy Naturale in the Brights colorway. Market Bag number 3, here I come!















And two big skeins of Schaefer's Miss Priss yarn in the Edith Piaf colorway. Look at this yarn, people. Can you gaze upon this yarn and actually tell me that YOU would have been able to resist it?! We're talking 300 yards per skein of hand-dyed, 100% merino wool deliciousness for $17, and you could have exercised enough restraint to keep your purse-strings all neatly tied up?

LIARS!










Ah, La Vie en Rose, indeed, Edith.

My Husband Makes Me Cry

Well...not intentionally, anyway. It's just that sometimes he says certain words or sounds or makes a peculiar face that just makes me cry.

Yeah, I know. The meds stopped working for me a long time ago.

I will now give you the litany of things that usually set me off:

1) Todd is from Virginia. No, that's not it. Haha. But it is part of it. Because he's a Southerner, he knows how to really lay on a Southern accent (stereotypically, of course) when he wants to. Todd is also an actor, by trade. So he doesn't really have a strong accent. Now, he will claim that he doesn't have any accent at all. This is not the case. He does. Just as sure as I have my bizarre Philadelphia accent, he's got a slight Southern one. Well, anyway, he made a stereotypical "hick laughing" sound one day. And he just kept on doing it like 2 seconds longer than I could handle and it made me cry. It sounds something like "hyuck, hycuk" over and over. I lost it. He can never do that in my presence again. I freak out.

2) Meatballs. He cannot say the word "meatballs" more than like twice in a row. And even that's pushing it. Because if he does, it's like saying "Candyman" or something. I don't know. It makes me upset and I cry. Especially since he often puts that heavy Southern accent on it AND accompanies it with those "hyuckl, hyuckl" laughs. I can't take it. Where did this originate? Ok we were playing Trivial Pursuit one day and he got this one question that said: "On the Howdy Doody Show, what did the Flub-A-Dub say when it got angry?" And we didn't know, 'cause Howdy Doody is about 30 years before our time. So the answer was "Meatballs!" Well Todd just took that and ran with it, saying it over and over, really loudly with that exaggerated Southern accent. I cried. And thus it appears on this list.

3) Pancakes. For the same aural reasons as above. However, here's the back-story: There was this movie called Cabin Fever that came out a couple of years ago. It's a horror movie. I don't do horror movies. Period. I just don't like them. In my entire life, I've only managed to sit through 2 horror movies in their entirety: The Blair Witch Project and The Ring. The latter disturbed me so much that I could not be alone in a room with a television for about a week. Anyway, back to Cabin Fever. So because I will NOT go to a theater and see a horror movie, Todd sometimes goes himself or with a friend. So he comes home after seeing Cabin Fever. He didn't like it. He thought it was stupid. This was no surprise to me, knowing that Todd pretty much thinks every movie he's seen in the last 4 years is stupid. So he said that there was this one scene in particular that was the dumbest, lamest thing ever committed to celluloid. He explained the scene, then he started yelling "PANCAKES!" over and over again in THAT voice. You know the one I mean. And I cried. For those of you who are interested, this is that scene: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qq_2GOoFaXE.

4) A couple of weeks ago I learned that there is yet another thing that sets me off. We stopped to get Middle Eastern food for dinner from this take-out place called Bitar's. (REALLY good food, BTW.) We parked the car and before we got out he said, "Oh, I think we are out of soda. Should we stop somewhere to get some?" And I said, "Well, I don't really need it. Why don't you just get some here so we don't have to make another stop?" And he goes, "No. 'Cause they only have like HYCHUKKHAL, and SHLUCK MALTHLUK brands." And he said this with his eyes wide open and kind of got closer to my face, too. I lost it. I said, "Don't do that ever again; I think I am going to cry!" And I did.

Now what makes matters worse in all these aforementioned instances is that Todd thinks it's hilarious. Not that he does it on purpose just to get a good laugh, because he doesn't. Especially the thing at Bitar's. That was an entirely new neuroses for me. But I guess it's just that it's so freakin' STUPID that I cry. So he laughs hysterically. Like screaming out loud, tears streaming down his face laughing. Then I start both laughing and crying, which is actually pretty painful. You get to a point, very quickly, where you can't breathe. Seriously.

Other stuff that he does that makes me upset:

* sucks on ice cubes, then pretends to choke on them.

* crosses his eyes and pretends that he's having a heart attack or stroke

* drinks water right from the spigot in the kitchen (sometimes just to "clean out" his mouth, thereby spitting it back out after swishing it around). Yes... I know....

* bangs on the coffee table, or throws the controller, or curses at the top of his lungs, or, more likely, a combination of all three of these things when playing a particularly frustrating video game. Do not get me started on the "God of War" incidents of early 2006. Anyway, sometimes it's so intense, loud, and enexpected that I literally, physically jump out of my seat.

Yeah, don't marry an actor.

Unbelievable Yarn

Oh man, so I am addicted to yarn. We all know that. And I have a habit of having like 14 projects going at a time. Well, I read somewhere online about a person who knitted and felted a couple of small rugs to use in her entryway and bathroom. And I thought, "What a super idea!" So I am going to try this. I mean, how hard can knitting and felting a big rectangle be? It's not going to be anything fancy --- just a nice rectangular rug for my bathroom. Maybe fringe. I haven't decided.

So the person who did their felted rugs recommended Plymouth Italian Fingerpaints yarn. She said she used 3 hanks of it. I searched high and low for this yarn. Then I realized why I was having such a hard time finding it: it's been discontinued. Story of my life, really. Anyway, when I DID find it on a couple of yarn-store websites, it was outrageously expensive. Sometimes as high as $40 a hank. So, I knew I would need at least 3 hanks. There's no way I would ever spend $120 on a bathroom rug, especially with a man in the house, if you catch my drift....

Enter ebay, in all its glory! I found an ebay seller selling this yarn for $12.95 a hank. YIPPIE! Now that's more my speed! I bought 4 hanks, just in case. The color I chose was pastels #715.

Here is a picture of it as it appeared on ebay:
















Well, the colors are pretty accurate to what the yarn looks like in person. But, really, this picture just does not show how amazing this yarn is. First of all? The hanks are FREAKIN' HUGE. Seriously, they are over 2 feet long. I've tried to find another picture of it fully extended out so you can see it. I'll try to take a picture of the 4 hanks I have tonight so you can see what I'm talking about! It has 132 yards per hank, which is a lot of yarn for something this gauge. Also, it's super soft and very large. They recommend size 17 needles, but I will have to go to 19 or maybe even 35 in order to get the right gauge for felting shrinkage.

Anyway, I am like totally GAY for this yarn.

Ok, Now HERE'S a Game For You...

Keeping in line with the absurdity of the Star Wars Transformers (see previous post), which I think we can all agree are the dumbest, ugliest-looking, stupidest toys ever committed to plastic, I have created the PERFECT new game for today's audiences. It combines both a classic, early-1980s game and a modern phenomenon! I am such a genius! Behold:

Simon!


Hey, kids! It's the old-fangled game your parents played before video games but with a cool new twist! How's it work? Well, the 4 colored buttons randomly flash and speak 4 different Simon Cowell observations! Your job is to remember the order in which they occurred and repeat it by pushing the correct- colored buttons! But be careful! Each round adds a new color and comment! Can you keep up with Simon's snarky comments? It's fun for the whole family!


Real, disdainful Simon comments from everyone's favorite show, American Idol :
"Simply awful"
"I've heard better from dying loons"
"Abysmal, at best"
"A kick in the batch would be less painful"

The Stupidest Toys I've Ever Seen

Are these:



































I mean...COME ON...Star Wars Transformers?

First of all, the packaging looks like something George Lucas created while having a seizure and dropping acid, simultaneously. My rods and cones are begging for mercy.

Second, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth of all: THEY ARE FUGLY. Not to mention that combining two franchises like this --- ones with entirely disparate worlds, origins, and story mythos --- is absolutely retarded and downright insulting to us folks who grew up loving these stories, independently. George Lucas is a freakin' bajillionaire. I can't believe he'd stoop down to this to make more money. Well, actually, I DO believe it, but it's still disturbing.

Maybe it's his goiter egging him on or something: "Psst...PSSSST! Hey, George! It's me...your goiter. Listen, I have a R0XX0R idea: how about we combine your classic Star Wars characters with the Transformers and and release it in the market as some kind of eye-assaulting, fever-inducing toy? Kids will LOVE it! And we can totally capitalize on the money that the new Transformers resurgence will undoubtedly bring now that their lame-ass movie is coming out. What's that? NO? Oh, come on! I gave you that Jar Jar idea and look how well that turned out! Ok, I have to hurt you now; assume the torture position...."

If I were a kid and found these under the tree, I'd so totally make my parents go into the cornfield....

Whew. I'm Alive, Somehow!

Somehow I managed to survive Thanksgiving and the drive down to my sister's house in Wake Forest, NC and back to Philly. It was a very long, arduous drive down there: just over 9 hours. And I think it was something like 7.5 coming back. The drive should take about 6.5.

We had a great time, though, while there. We went to see a movie, The Prestige. You know, about the magicians? It was good. I'd recommend it. For the following 5 reasons:

5) Does Michael Caine EVER disappoint? No. Well, except maybe Blame It on Rio....
4) You get to see Andy Serkis do something else besides Gollum/Smeagol
3) Christian Bale. Crazy as all get-out in this movie. (Incidentally, I cannot believe Christian Bale is like 2 years younger than me. No way. He looks MUCH older.)
2) Hugh Jackman. Even crazier, if you can imagine it.

And the number 1) and best reason of all: David Bowie is in it. He plays Nikola Tesla. He like totally BURNINATES! Seriously, I think he's the best part. He does a fabulous job portraying the brilliant, somewhat eccentric, stoic Hungarian. A very controlled performance. Thumbs up to Ziggy Stardust.

So here's the latest kids' Christmas scarves update: 3 done; 2 to go! I will try to remember to take pictures of them all. Oh! AND my secret pal got her 2nd package! And she sent me a very nice e-mail thanking me for the goodies. I'm glad she's liking everything. I am such a worry wart about getting just the right things for people!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hello friends: Wishing you a wonderful, food-filled, fun Thanksgiving Holiday! If you are traveling, please have a safe journey! Happy Thanksgiving! Gina

The Moebius Scarf

Last Thursday I attended a knitting group with my friend, Marsha. A lot of familiar faces were there too : Katie, Beth, and Bobbi! At this meeting, we were treated to a special instruction on how to make a Moebius Scarf. The scarf is based on the mathematical concept of the "Moebius Strip."

Ok so what is the Moebius Strip, you ask? This. And here is some more info about it.

Well, there are several ways to achieve this in knitting. One way is to knit a long rectangle, then give it a half twist and then seam together the opposite ends. This is called the Transverse Method. The problem with this is that you have a seam. This is kind-of like the "cheater's" way of knitting a Moebius! Well, Pat, our knitting fearless leader, taught us how to do it the REAL way!

I could try to explain here how to cast on and knit a Moebius ring, but it would take me forever to do it. So you might find the explanations at the websites listed below helpful for this:

http://www.girlfromauntie.com/tech/moebius/inside_out.php

http://www.diynetwork.com/diy/na_other/article/0,2025,DIY_14142_4894528,00.html

Just let me say that the casting on is very hard to understand in writing, yet so easy to grasp visually. You need to use a very long circular needle. I attached two 19-inch Denise cables together to size 8 needles, forming a 47" circular needle. I managed to cast on just fine. When I started to knit my first row, which is a BEAR, let me tell you, my connector piece in between the two cables came undone, and I lost a stitch or two. Ut oh. Well, by that point we were about 40 minutes from packing up and leaving, so I figured I'd try it again on my own.

The next day, I tried it using different yarn, different size needles and ONE 40" cable. What a difference! I don't know how I managed to retain all the information about the cast on, but I did! Let that stand as a testament to Pat's excellent teaching ability! Once you get beyond the first round of knitting, it's as easy as pie.

Here's a picture of it almost finished, still on the needles:















And this is a picture of the finished product. I used Knit Picks Suri Dream yarn --- only one ball! The scarf is about 8 inches wide and the ring is 36 inches around.















This was so fast to knit that I might make a few as gifts! They are SO unique and do have some other benefits besides just looking neat-o. If you make a really long one, you can double it up and make a double cowl with it! Also, because of the continuous line that the Moebius creates, this scarf folds against itself (as you can see from the picture) and lays nice and flat against your chest under a coat. And, the size that I made can also be brought down over the shoulders as a little capelet! How cool is that?

Oh and Christmas kids' scarves update: 2 complete, 3 to go. Official date of the party: December 17. I think I'm going to make it!

In Pain From Laughing

Thank you, Nicole.













http://www.indietits.com/

For My SP9 Hostess: Washcloth for Contest 2!

Well here it is: my first ever washcloth!
















I used a pattern from the Dishcloth Boutique called "Waved Welt." This pattern is on page 5. Yes, there are that many dishcloth/washcloth patterns at the website! I really like this pattern. I will probably use it again. I think it's very fitting for a washcloth.

Since this was my first washcloth, AND I am not great at purling, you can probably see that my initial rows are a little more loose than the rest of it (the cast-on row is at the top). By the second go-round of the wave pattern, I was much more comfortable purling. And it shows. But all in all, not bad for my first effort.

With this variegated-color yarn, it's hard to see the wave pattern. So here's a close up:















And a big thank-you to Patty, my SP9 hostess, for making it a fun Secret Pal exchange by having these little activities! :-)

Oh, I See. So It's MY Fault Now?

I have an e-mail account with a place called Cashette. The idea behind it is very good: you won't get any spam in your inbox unless the sender pays you an amount that you set in advance. So if you set it at $.25, then that means that any spammer would have to pay you $.25 to have their e-mail make it to your inbox. I don't know how this works, or how the money is exchanged, but what I do know is that it DOES keep spam out of my inbox. This is a good thing.

However, Cashette often has problems. The server is often down or can't be found. Sometimes I can't move messages from one folder to another. Sending attachments is damn near impossible. The reply-to option is wonky, at best. Et cetera. This is a bad thing.

Today, I tried to log on and I got this message:

Internal Server Error

The server encountered an internal error or misconfiguration and was unable to complete your request.

Please contact the server administrator, postmaster@cashette.com and inform them of the time the error occurred, and anything you might have done that may have caused the error.

More information about this error may be available in the server error log.

---

Apache/2.0.43 Server at www.cashette.com Port 80

Ok, so, wait. Let me read that second sentence again: "Please contact the server administrator, postmaster@cashette.com and inform them of the time the error occurred, and anything you might have done that may have caused the error."

Excuse me? "Anything you might have done that may have caused the error?" You know what, Cashette? GO TO HELL! Do not blame ME for your crappy server. Geez.

All My Children

Here they are, all in one place at the same time --- a rare event, to be sure. They are all looking out the back door into my yard. Oh, actually, I should write it as: "yard." Yes, in Philadelphia, your backyard is in actuality an 18' x 10' concrete rectangle, which contains your central air-conditioning unit, a trash can, and a few weeds and is enclosed by a chain-link fence.

I have no earthly idea why these animals (the boys in particular) are so intrigued by the yard. Todd has let them out there a few times. The girls choose to stay inside. Thus proving that girls are smarter even in the animal kingdom. But Titus and Hercules can't wait to run out there, especially Hercules. Sometimes, he cries and paws at the back door when it's closed because he wants to go out there.

One of us is usually there to supervise when they go out. We have to, because of Titus. See, the cold fact is that Titus is smarter than Hercules. When Titus goes out there, he scopes out the confines of the yard and examines the perimeter for any weaknesses he can exploit. Yeah. One time, he tried to jump the fence. I caught him, though, before he could do it. Hercules just wanders around sniffing the air. When we go over to him to pick him up and bring him back in, he runs over to us, tail all up, happy to see us. When we go over to Titus to pick him up and bring him in, it's another story entirely. He wriggles out of your grasp and out of reach, then he flips himself over onto the ground, completely stretches out, and stiffens up so that you can't pick him up without like jamming your fingers into his soft belly, which he KNOWS I won't do because I don't want to hurt him. See? Smart(er). Yet, as smart as he is, Titus is still too dumb to realize how good a life he has in my house. I let him get away with murder, seriously.

This morning, in fact, I discovered that sometime in the middle of the night he stole one of my nice earrings. I have no idea where he put it. He probably ate it. Sigh...I guess I have to keep an eye on the contents of the litter boxes during the next couple of days. Swell.

Won't You Be My Neighbor?

It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood,
A beautiful day for a neighbor.
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?

It's a neighborly day in this beauty wood,
A neighborly day for a beauty.
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?

I've always wanted to have a neighbor just like you.
I've always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you.

So, let's make the most of this beautiful day.
Since we're together we might as well say:
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
Won't you be my neighbor?
Won't you please...
Won't you please?
Please won't you be...
My neighbor?

No. Really. Please? I have the worst freakin' neighbors in the world. Seriously. It's the house right next door. And I live in a row-home, so it's OMFGRIGHTNEXTDOORWALLTOWALLONTOPOFUS.

Yeah.

I don't even know where to begin to describe the horror that is my next-door neighbor. About eight months ago, we started noticing some shady-looking people traipsing in and out of their house. Todd called them "hobos." It was actually really funny, at first. They DID look like hobos. One time, I saw one straggly guy go in there with a banjo. I laughed for about three days. They would play music and sing and laugh and whatever. Fine.

Then one night we noticed they had their stereo on REALLY LOUD, and I think it was Prince's Let's Go Crazy or 1999 playing. Odd choice of music for hobos, especially since I last saw them with a banjo and a harmonica. Unless...they were having a...

HOBO ORGY!

Oh yes. That's right. I couldn't make this up if I tried, dear readers. Yeah, so.... That's about all I want to say about that.

So we started calling them "Hobo Orgy" whenever we referred to them. Why? A) because it's funny and B) because it's so utterly bizarre! It was never really that bad, just kind of weird and funny in a shake-your-head kind-of way. So we spent all summer listening to their random acts of hoboness and such. Later in the summer, we started to suspect that some shady shit was going down in that house---way shadier than any hobo orgy could ever be.

Then one day --- a Friday --- in late August, I was off from work. I planned to go to a few car dealerships to look at some new, more fuel-efficient cars so I could unload my crappy car. (It's a 2003 Saturn Ion. I had a Saturn SL2, which I adored. These new Saturns leave a lot to be desired, let me tell you....) Anyway, I was outside spiffying up my car, which was parked right out front. This woman, who I'd never seen before, comes out of the Hobo Orgy house: a petite, slim woman with frosted blond hair worn up in a pony tail. She looked TIRED. I mean like totally beat. I cringed as she started up a conversation with me, during which she identified herself to me, but I am changing the name to protect all hobos around the world. So let's say...um...Jo-Beth. Here's the gist of the conversation:

JB: Man, that's a nice car.
Me: Yeah, thanks. It's ok.
JB: It's like a nice size and all. It looks brand new! What kind of car is that, anyway?
Me: It's a 2003 Ion. Actually, I am trying to get rid of it. That's why I'm cleaning it up out here. Heh.
JB: Damn, really? What's wrong with it?
Me: Nothing. Other than that it gets really crappy gas mileage.
JB: How much do you want for it?
Me: Well, I am still making payments, so I need to trade it in with a dealer.
JB: Ohhh. Yeah. How much do you owe on it?
Me: Hmmm...about $5000. But it's worth about $8200.
JB: Dang. That's a sweet car.
Me: [Wishing the skies would open and torrential rain or hail or a plague of locusts would come down so I can END this conversation!]
At this point, Jo-Beth got off her step, moved across the street, and sat on a step there, facing our houses.
JB: I wish I could afford to buy it from you. My name's Jo-Beth, by the way.
Me: Oh...I'm Gina.
JB: Yeah, see, I had a car once. A really nice car. It was a 2004 Ford Taurus. God, I loved that car....
Me: Why did you get rid of it?
JB: Well...I didn't. See, one night I got pulled over for driving erratically or something. And I was like FUCKED UP on drugs. So that caused them to search the car, and they found stuff. And I got arrested and put in jail.
Me: Oh...that's...a shame....
JB: So yeah, it was either pay like $5000 to get the car out of impoundment or pay for the lawyer to get me out of jail.
Me: Yeah, what can you do, huh? [I was actually incredulous that she was sharing this information with ME.]

Then after some more idle chat about cars, her cellphone rang, and she went inside. Thank Christ!

Later that same day, after a rather ho-hum visit to the Nissan dealership, Todd and I were playing Warcraft. It was about 2:00 pm, or so. Todd was in the basement and I had the laptop upstairs in the living room. We started hearing loud, crashing noises from Hobo Orgy house. It sounded like they were smashing furniture against the walls. That, or a herd of rhinoceros on crack was running through the house. I said out loud: "What the crap are they DOING in there?! Sounds like they are playing frickin' Jumanji." New nickname: Jumanji House!

Then we heard a woman screaming in tandem with the crashing and banging. Jo-Beth, I assume. Her blood-curdling screams were mingled in with the voices of at least two different male voices. We couldn't tell what was happening. Were they beating the living crap out of her? Or was she merely throwing shit around? Or were they, indeed, playing Jumanji? At any rate, I was scared for her. So we called the cops. The cops came and everything settled down in there for a little while, at least --- and by "a little while" I mean a couple of hours. By dinner time, they were at it again: banging, smashing, yelling, crashing, etc.

So we've lived for a few months now with Jumanji Hobo Orgy house. In the last month or so, things have gotten much worse. Yes, WORSE. I couldn't tell you how old Jo-Beth is. She could be 45, but she she could just as easily be be a really well-worn 25. The "man of the house," so-to-speak, also looks older than he probably is. We have him pegged at around age 45, but again, he could be younger. His name is...uh...Luke. Anyway, we've noticed several very young (say 18-23), very scary-looking guys going in and out of the house next door at all hours. Whenever they are in there, raging, incoherent arguments ensue, complete with Jumanji sound effects. We've put our ears to the wall with a glass to get a better listen to what's going on. Usually, we end up hearing mostly unintelligible yelling and cursing, peppered with some rather absurd words and phrases. For example, one time, Todd was sure he heard: "cursing...yelling...yeah, get that ass...cursing...blabber...get that condom on...blabber...cursing...stool softener...yelling...." No female voices. Not kidding. So then we were like, "Oh swell, it's...

BROKEBACK HOBO ORGY!"

Sigh. Then they do other bizarre things. Such as, run the vacuum for three hours at a time and/or at 1:00 in the morning, block the upstairs master-bedroom window by propping up a large picture and mirror in front of it, are awake at all hours of the day; they never seem to sleep, etc., etc. Lately, Todd has had to call them at the wee hours of the morning to ask them to lower their music or television, or both, since they often have both media going at the same time. A prime example:

A couple of weeks ago, we were kept up ALL night by their music, TV, vacuum, and general hoboness. At one point they turned the volume way up on both some Luther Vandross song and Me So Horny, playing at the same freakin' time! It was so loud it that it sounded like Luther had risen from his grave and was standing in our bedroom singing with full accompaniment. And did I mention it was 3:00 am? Yeah, it was three freakin' o'clock in the morning. Todd and I bickered about what to do about this intolerable situation for a half hour. He decided to call them. No answer. He went and rang their doorbell. Three times. No answer. We were at our collective wit's end. What's left to do? Call the cops, again. So we did. About three minutes later, our phone rings. It's Luke from next door. Our number showed up on his caller ID. The conversation went something like this:

Todd: Hey, it's Todd next door...um can you PLEASE lower your stereo?
Luke: Oh, yeah, hey man! Well you know I'm just in here with my girl and we're getting romantic so you gotta play that Luther Vandross, y'know!
Todd: Um, yeah, but dude, it's 3:30 in the morning.
Luke: Oh yeah, sorry, man. We'll go lower it. How's that?
Todd: Uh...a little more. These walls are like paper-thin or something.
Luke: Ok, how about now?
Todd: Ok that's good. Thanks, man.
Luke: No problem, man!

We let out a sigh of relief, and settled into the bed to finally --- at long last --- get some sleep. Ahhh.... OH SHIT! THE COPS ARE COMING! Note for future reference: When you call the police, you cannot undo that action. Just remember that. They were coming. Todd said, "I gotta call him back to tell him." Luke was surprisingly calm and understanding when we told him that we called the cops on him. He actually said to Todd, "Yeah, it's ok. I've dealt with them before. They've come out here for other things...." I can only imagine.

Last night we were jilted out of sleep at about 12:45 am because Luke next door decided to repeatedly POUND SOMETHING WITH A HAMMER. I thought he was going to break through our bedroom wall. We waited about ten minutes, and he stopped. We fell back to sleep. About a half hour later, we were, once again, awakened from a sound sleep by the same hammering. Todd, fuming, gets on the phone and calls him:

Todd: Dude...
Luke: I know, I know! I just have two more nails left and then I'm done! I promise!
Todd: ...Ok.

What the fuck? I mean seriously? How can he think it is in any way justifiable to hammer nails into God-only-knows-what at 1:30 in the morning? Any normal person would know that this is unacceptable. That's why we think they are involved in some serious drugs over there. Their behavior is not only rude and inconsiderate, but also erratic, senseless, and bizarre.

Todd woke up one morning after a particularly rough night and while still laying in bed simply uttered, "Murder. Death. Fire." It was pretty funny, but also a real testament to the importance of having even just a halfway-decent neighbor. So if you who are reading this out there in blogland have a great neighbor, or a good one, or even an ambivalent one, then thank whatever higher being you believe in for that rather overlooked and unappreciated gift.

YAY! Thank You, Secret Pal!

Well after a rather blah day at work today, I came home to find some packages waiting for me at the door, which always cheers me up. I ordered a bunch of yarn from a couple of places, so I was happy to see that it arrived so quickly.

Also peeking out at me was a brown, soft parcel from Canada. I was so excited to see that it was a package of goodies from my Secret Pal!

I am absolutely thrilled with everything contained in that parcel! Thank you so much for your very thoughtful gifts. I have taken some photos of my goodies! :-)

Here is a picture of everything she sent me:


Left to right: 2 BIG balls of gorgeous red yarn, a bag of coffee, magnets, a toy kitty, a notebook with a polka-dot, 4-way reversible cover (how cool is that?), a tin box of exotic teas and a really pretty card!





Ok that little yellow toy cat...could you just DIE from how cute is? I mean, really. Look at it up close! And guess what? IT WINDS UP AND WALKS! To the left of my new little kitty pal are really cute magnets!















I am so excited about trying the tea! They come in silken bags! How luxurious! I love tea, especially herbal teas, which these are. These are almost too pretty to use! Here's a close up:





















And now, the yarn! First of all, it is a gorgeous, deep, rich red. Like a candy apple! Apparently this yarn came hot off the presses, so-to-speak, from my secret pal's local spinner! It's so beautiful and the skeins are HUGE. And, I am a very sensory person, so I tend to smell everything, even if it's something where the smell is not even a factor. Like, for instance, yarn. Who smells yarn? I do! I know, I know; I'm nuts. Anyway this yarn smells so good! So natural and earthy with nutty and cedar undertones. I love it!
















How does that poem go? ...Nothing gold ever stays....? Yeah, well then the cats started swarming around. Here's Ophelia:















Then Titus. This is a funny photo because if you look closely, Titus is just about in the same pose as the little wind-up toy cat:














Now these next photos are of some of the yarn I bought. I decided to try Lorna's Laces. This is one of her chunky yarns in 80% wool and 20% silk. It's SUPER soft. Just gorgeous. The color is called "mineshaft," which I forever keep wanting to call "Drive Shaft." Damn you, Lost! But I digress. Anyway, the photos just do NOT do this color combination any justice. It's like a very light mauve into silver into charcoal into taupe. It so beautiful. And Titus thought so too...:














Oh and I just HAD to get it because...well...see, my main character on World of Warcraft is a Dwarf hunter named Lorna. Seriously. And well, this yarn is Lorna's Laces and the color is "mineshaft," and my Lorna is a Dwarf, after all, so naturally I gave her mining as a profession...so...it was just meant to be. Right? Ok, look, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Well, They Got It Right...

What American accent do you have? Your Result: Philadelphia Your accent is as Philadelphian as a cheesesteak! If you're not from Philadelphia, then you're from someplace near there like south Jersey, Baltimore, or Wilmington. if you've ever journeyed to some far off place where people don't know that Philly has an accent, someone may have thought you talked a little weird even though they didn't have a clue what accent it was they heard.
The Northeast
The Midland
The Inland North
The South
Boston
The West
North Central
What American accent do you have? Take More Quizzes

Knitting: The Fast and the Furious

So, I finished the second market bag (the salmon and sage colored one) on Monday. It came out a lot better than the first one. Oddly enough, it's about the same size as the other one and, at the behest of Marsha, I made the handles a little longer too and I still have a bit of yarn left over. Why I ran out of yarn on the first one and not this one...well...who knows? Maybe one of the skeins was a few yards short. That happens.

Anyway, I will try to get a picture on here soon!

Now I have started what I like to call "the fast and furious scarf-knitting marathon of 2006." Let me explain. Every year at Christmas time, my good friend Julie hosts a holiday party at her house. She has a three-year-old boy named Gaetano. She invites a lot of people, mostly all female, mostly all with kids. Well, her sister-in-law has an eight-year-old daughter named Gianna. Then Julie invites our friend from grade school, Dana. Dana has THREE daughters, ages 9, 6, and 4, I believe. Names are: Kristen, Madison, and Alyssa? I think? I don't know. Whatever. All I know is every time I go to one of these get-togethers it makes me want to get on my knees and thank God for Margaret Sanger and Gregory Pincus....

The point is --- and I DO have a point --- that Christmas is for kids. And every year I end up buying these kids some random junk from Toys-R-Us, which they enjoy for all of about 4 minutes. Then they schlep it all back home and probably forget about the stuff until, say, Dana steps on one particularly pointy, plastic object sometime in February, causing her to exclaim, "Goddamn you, Gina, for buying them this stupid crap!"

So, this year, I am making everyone scarves. Oh yes. The benefit of this is three-fold. Gather and surmise:

1) I get to use up the boa, eyelash, and fun-fur yarn in my stash that, otherwise, I would probably never use for myself or any other adult. This makes room for MORE YARN. And any endeavor that leads to more yarn is ok by me.

2) The kids actually get something useful and each one will be different. I think their parents will appreciate this. There is no worry about sizing either and just maybe instead of cursing my ancestors in February, Dana would instead exclaim, "It's 14 degrees outside, thank God they have those rockin'-cool, hand-knit scarves that Gina made. Thank God for you, Gina. Thank God for you!" And what eight-year-old girl wouldn't want a funky, feathery, soft, purple, blue, and green scarf?

3) I don't have to spend any money. None --- well, none until I buy more (even nicer!) yarn to fill up the space vacated by the kiddie-stuff. But seriously, I have everything I need in my stash.

Now, will I be able to complete 5 scarves in about 5 weeks? I think so! They're kid-sized, so they don't need to be as wide or as long as adult scarves. And since I am using 2 strands of yarn: like a wool-type yarn with fun fur or eyelash, etc., I don't have to make any fancy stitches. The yarn does all the talking. Just garter stitch all the way, baby! And because I am using 2 strands, the scarves are being knit-up on big needles, too.

I just might have time to start cabling too! Maybe.

Coffee, Pastries, Knitting and Kicking Santorum Out of Office--- What Could Be Better?!

First let me just segue into this post by admitting to you that I am a complete moron for a) not bringing my camera and b) not remembering that I have a camera on my phone.

That said, let me tell you what a great time I had at the Starbucks on Rte. 100 in Exton, PA last night! Marsha, my friend who taught me how to knit, arranged a knitting-group meeting for a bunch of us knitting folk. Marsha thought a "first Tuesday of the month" regular get-together would be neat idea, and indeed, it was! Also in attendance were Beth and Katie, who I already knew and who are also SP9 participants, and I met two new awesome ladies named Bobbie and Linda.

I was, by far, the least-experienced knitter there. But I in no way felt discouraged or "out of my league," so-to-speak. These are some really super-nice, super-talented ladies! We were all having a grand old time discussing yarn stashes, needles, projects, and where the hell does mohair come from. Then, an employee of Starbucks approached our group. (We later learned that her name was Mandy.) I immediately thought, "Oh, crap. She's coming to put the smack-down on us. We're being too loud and/or not drinking enough of their coffee to keep us welcome here." Instead, we were pleasantly surprised by an offer to participate in a "coffee tasting" with free samples of coffees and pastries! Katie said, "Who would say 'no' to this?!" I agree!

So Mandy brought out 3 different coffees: House Blend, Yukon, and their 2006 Christmas coffee with three different types of pastry, which I think were a blueberry crumb cake, oatmeal cookies, and a cinnamon pound cake. Mandy explained exactly what the difference is between coffee brewed via French press and coffee brewed with percolator or a drip coffee maker. All the coffee she served us was brewed using a French press. She showed us the proper way to take in the aroma of coffee, and how to sip/slurp it through our front teeth to get the best reaction with our tongues. It's much like wine-tasting, except you don't spit it out. :-P

We also learned from Mandy that she was part of a special "coffee masters" program at Starbucks. She will be learning all about coffee: how it's grown; how soil, elevation, and harvesting processes will vary the flavors of coffee; how aging the beans changes the texture of the coffee, etc. She will eventually earn a "black apron" and be an expert on coffee. She already seemed very knowledgeable to me! And she was oh-so right about how the coffees we tasted had different bodies, flavors, undertones, and smoothness.

What a great experience! So we are planning to go do our little knitting group every first Tuesday of the month. Mandy said that she had more to teach us and more for us to taste! So Marsha is going to do her best to coordinate our knitting group meeting with Mandy's work schedule! SWEEEEEEEEEET.

Say what you will about Starbucks as a corporation. But they make DAMN GOOD coffee!

AND

As if the day couldn't get any better, Pennsylvanians finally got their heads out of their asses and collectively said "go to hell" to Rick Santorum. How he managed to get elected in the first place and then to get re-elected six years ago will forever remain a mystery to me. This man is not only a misogynist but a complete idiot. A swell combination. To wit:

"As the hobbits are going up Mount Doom, the Eye of Mordor is being drawn somewhere else," Santorum said. "It's being drawn to Iraq and it's not being drawn to the U.S. You know what? I want to keep it on Iraq. I don't want the Eye to come back here to the United States.
--Santorum, 10/06, as quoted by the Bucks County Courier Times

OK. a) what the fuck is he talking about? and b) ...um...what the fuck is he talking about?

Oh, what? Not convinced? Here you go:

"And if the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything. Does that undermine the fabric of our society? I would argue yes, it does. It all comes from, I would argue, this right to privacy that doesn't exist in my opinion in the United States Constitution."
-- Senator Rick Santorum, Republican from Pennsylvania, 2003

I guess he never took a class in Logic, Philosophy, History, Sociology, Political Science, or -- oh yeah -- the frelling United States CONSTITUTION. Why am I not surprised?

Anyway, it's all moot, and water under the proverbial bridge, and such and such, seeing that he's gone now, thankfully --- hopefully back to Leesburg, Virginia, where he really lives....